Chasing the Sun
by lollypopf
Summary: Set soon after college graduation for the GMW characters. Focuses on decisions that come with reaching adulthood and navigating important relationships along the way. Rucas and Rilaya centric.
1. Chapter 1: Old Friends, New Windows

**A/N: This story will be grown over many chapters, lots to come with this. Please be patient, with the holidays uploads may be slower than they would usually be during the normal season. But I will finish, I promise!**

**Also, this is my first time back writing anything in a while, so forgive any rustiness as I find my footing again. Hope you enjoy, I love this show and these characters so much, it makes it very easy to love writing their futures. **

**Lastly, anything relating to the television show, I do not own. **

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Chapter One: Old Friends, New Window

"Honey, I'm home!" Maya burst through the door with her usual excitement to see her roommate. "Whatcha got cookin', good lookin'?"

The girls had lived together in their very own apartment for the length of their college careers. It wasn't a fancy place, by any means of the word, but it was cozy and warm. A perfect clash between their two completely different styles. Artwork covered the walls, some of which the edgy young artist had created herself, and some of which was crafted by her heroes and had inspired her every brushstroke. The décor and furnishings were vintage and bright to reflect Riley's colorful personality. But the final touch of their apartment, the one thing that unified the entire dwelling, was the one non-negotiable that both girls agreed was to be in any space they were to call "home"—a bay window.

Riley stood up from her wooden chair at their second-hand kitchen table (flea markets were their favorite way to spend a free Sunday.) She had been anxiously awaiting Maya's arrival, evident by the shreds of napkin she had torn into a thousand pieces—napkin tearing was discovered to be a healthier alternative to biting her finger nails. Looking up at her friend she forced the best fake-smile she could muster. "Maya…Peaches…we need to talk." The brunette's voice was uneasy and her fingers twiddled impatient amongst each other.

"Uh oh…what are ya', breakin' up with me, Darlin'?" Maya joked, continuing her fake southern drawl. "This'll be the worst news I got since Bessie the cow dried up." Her icy blue eyes searched her friend's reaction for any kind of amusement. There was none to be seen. Just like that, the room felt small. Suffocating. Catching sight of the murdered napkin, she widened her gaze at Riley. "Riles, what is it, is everything okay?" The only response she was met with was a hung head. After quickly removing her coat and hanging it on the purple hook near the door, she crossed the small living area towards the kitchen and reached down to grab her friend's hand. It was cold, and had a slight tremble. "Hey," using her free hand she tilted Riley's face to meet her own, "what's wrong?"

Riley's dark brown eyes hit the floor and then slowly rose back up to Maya's. "Bay window?"

"Bay window," the blonde nodded, realizing that whatever words they were about to exchange were certainly not going to be happy ones.

This window was much like their previous one, as Riley had brought with her all of the same pillows and curtains from that sacred spot in the Matthew's home whenever she moved out. However, the conversations throughout their life as young adults had been heavier, laced with the gravity that comes with growing up, weighing down on the cushions quite a bit more than when they were kids. The seat was indented and the threads of the pillows were beginning to fray, but some things are just too precious to replace. So once again, there they sat, where they had been so many times before—amongst the tattered memories of their youth, and the patchwork of their maturity, delving into the uncharted territory of their future.

Riley looked at Maya, silent. She could see the girl's leg bouncing endlessly, an always-obvious tell that Maya was nervous, and Riley hated herself for being the reason. Exhaling, she gathered her thoughts and placed her hand on her Maya's knee to still her. "I'm never going to be able to get this out if you keep tap dancing over here, you know?"

Smiling, Maya rolled her eyes. "Sorry, but you really know how to make a girl sweat. Look, I promise that whatever it is, it's going to be okay. I'm here for you forever. Thunder and lightening and all that jazz. So stop stalling and give it to me straight, Matthews."

"Lucas wants to move back to Austin," she blurted it out forgetting to soften the blow, but there was no point stopping now. "He got accepted into Vet school at UTA, and he really wants to go." Riley averted her gaze down to her best friend's black combat boots, wanting to look anywhere except into the face in front of her. There were very few worse sights to see than that of disappointment in those big blue eyes.

"Well that's great!" Maya proclaimed, feeling a huge relief that no one had died. Ever since her grandmother had passed two years ago, her first thought when it came to bad news was that someone had to have died. And honestly, why was this such a big deal? Lucas getting to pursue his dream should be _good_news…But upon observation, she could see the girl was heartbroken and instantly wanted more than anything to wrap her up in one of her tight hugs. Somehow even sad, Riley was still adorable. "I mean, I'm sorry Riles, I hate that he's going to be farther away from you for a while, but you know it's going to be fine, right? If anyone can do long-distance, it's certainly you guys. Veterinary school is only what, four years? And you'll have the weekends when you can visit each other whenever you want. Honey, it's going to be okay, and I'll be here with you every single step of the way," she promised, hoping she was saying what someone should in this situation. Words were never her strong suit, but when it came to Riley she'd exhaust her entire vocabulary if it meant helping the girl hurt even just a tad less.

Riley shook her head, running her fingers through her long hair. "Maya…" she looked up, tears brimming her thick black lashes. "You don't get it." Closing some of the distance between them, she scooted in and interlocked their arms. "He wants me to go _with_him."

If she thought the room felt small before, it was miniscule now. Her heart dropped so fast that even her feet didn't have enough notice to catch it before it splattered onto the chestnut floor. Another loss in the book of Maya. _How cliché_, she thought to herself. _Is nothing meant to actually fucking last?_"Wait…" she let out a small laugh, though she didn't know why. "You're going with him? To Austin?" This was a dream…No, a nightmare. Maya was sure of it. She had been staying up late recently after-all, to finish a piece she needed for her next show. Lack of sleep was finally catching up. She laughed again. _WAKE UP, MAYA_. But she wasn't waking up. And Riley wasn't talking…why wasn't Riley talking? Turning to the only place that ever made anything make sense, she found those all too familiar brown eyes. Defeated, her voice could only manage a whisper. "Are you really leaving, Riles?"


	2. Chapter 2: Leaving the Light

Riley sat there, staring at her best friend of nearly two decades—the one person she had always expected to walk hand in hand through life with forever. Her thoughts were all over the place, but she knew that the longer she took to get her words out, the more she was upsetting Maya. "I don't know…Maya, I just don't know. I mean what else am I supposed to do? Lucas is really excited about this, and we've been together for so long, it just seems like the most logical next step, right?"

"Logical?" The blonde stood up, pinching the bridge of her nose as her head shook from side to side. Her thick brows were tightly furrowed towards their center, leaving creases between them. "Riley, what part of this is _logical_? You would be moving to TEXAS. Leaving your family, your friends, your career…_me_. You'll be giving up your whole life."

Riley let out a deep breath. "Please just sit back down with me. We are just talking, Maya." Her voice was weak and barely above a whisper. She wanted more than anything for Maya to stay calm, but she already knew that calm wasn't the other girl's normal disposition when it came to the possibility of any change at all. Quickly realizing that her request to be joined back on the bay window would be denied, Riley stood up to match her friend's level. "Look, I haven't decided on anything yet, this is all so new and literally just became a reality _today._But I know that everyone always says as we grow up, we are supposed to build our lives with the person we choose to be our companion and move forward. We are supposed to leave the nest and create our _own_family. Maybe that takes sacrifice? Maybe that takes leaving what's familiar to find out how well you can stand on your own feet with that person?" She sighed. "How can I deny him of his dream?" The taller girl stepped a tad closer to Maya, praying to be met with some kind of understanding.

This was definitely not how she had hoped this would go. Her nerves had gotten the better of her all day, ever since her lunch date with Lucas, but she was hoping that once she had the opportunity to discuss everything with her usual voice of reason, things would just fall into place—make sense. But really, what response was she expecting? She had been Maya's rock for most of their lives—her safe place. And Maya had certainly been hers. They'd built this perfect little life together, survived all of the ups and downs of adolescence, all of the loss that came along with growing older, as well as the accomplishments that came with finding their passions and carving their own marks into the world. Each had been the other's most sturdy shoulder to cry on, and just as much, each other's first hug anytime there was something to celebrate. Moving _would_change things—it would change _everything_.

"What about _your _dreams?" Maya walked a few steps into the living area and dropped to the couch. Her head was hurting now, but more than that, her heart was. Her friend had worked so hard to get recognized for her talent, and now she was about to throw all of that away over a boy. All of those late nights the girl had spent writing, and editing, and then rewriting. All of the times she was about to throw in the towel after each rejection letter came from yet another publisher. All of the tears that stained Maya's clothes and she embraced the girl, begging her to just keep going, to keep trying. Assuring her that the universe would be insane not to see the gift that Riley had to offer. Until finally, an opportunity came and it was hard to say which one of them was the happiest about it when it did. How could Riley be so willing to discard all of that effort at the first drop of a cowboy hat?

It wasn't long before the brunette made her way over to the couch and found her usual spot beside Maya. She reached over and snatched one of the many cozy throw blankets that inhabited their home. Pulling it over both sets of their legs, she laid her back deep into the cushions behind. "Sweetie, I can write children's books anywhere. One of the perks of being a writer is that I all need to do my job is a computer and a big glass of chocolate milk."

"Have you forgotten that you live in New York? This is the absolute best place you could live in to get your stories out, Riles. This is where _your _dreams come true." Maya leaned into her friend and rolled her eyes. "I mean fuck, why can't Huckleberry just find a school here?"

Riley couldn't help but smile at how defensive the girl was being. Her protector. She knew Maya was doing everything she could not to blow her lid right now, but it still warmed her heart so much to see her so concerned for her success. When it came to Riley, Maya would do anything to see her succeed. "Well, there _are_vet schools here, but he wants to practice large animal. Maya, he wants to save _horses_." She sounded enamored when mentioning one of her favorite animals. "His best opportunity for that is in the south. He needs to go there. Don't you understand that?"

Maya knew that Riley was right. The boy had yammered on and on about horses for as long as she'd known him. Just when she'd think he had stopped, he'd start right back up again, going on about whatever the hell horses do. She took those moments as her opportunity to zone out and think of literally anything else. "I get it. I do. But Riley, while he goes there to get everything he's ever wanted, what will you do? Sit back and watch him?"

"You need to stop talking like that—as if staying here wouldn't mean giving _him _up. I love Lucas, I want to see him happy. But Maya, I do love you too. I told you that I hadn't made up my mind yet on if I was going to Texas. That's why I wanted to talk to you tonight in the first place—not to fight, not to have you belittle what he wants to do with his life, but just to talk to my best friend about something that affects the both of us." Riley found Maya's dainty hand and gave it a squeeze. "If you think that the idea of leaving you doesn't absolutely kill me inside, then you don't know me at all; If you think that I'd ever go without knowing that you and I would be okay, then you don't know me at all; and if you really have to question whether or not that you're the most deciding factor in all of this, then I _promise_you that you don't know me at all. So tell me, Maya, do you know me at all?" Riley wiped a tear from her cheek with her white shirtsleeve and then returned her grasp to Maya's. "You have been my everything since we were kids. You have always been the one to speak your mind and tell me when I was being crazy, or if I was in way over my head. When I was the SuperKlutz, you were always the first one reaching out to pick me back up."

"_Was _the SuperKlutz? Riley, you tripped on your way to eat breakfast this morning." Maya's mouth broke into a huge smile remembering the disaster, and how she had to spend thirty minutes scrubbing syrup off of their floor, making her very late for the art studio. But cleaning up Riley's messes was something she was used to, and actually she had grown quite fond of it.

Riley gave Maya a gentle shove. "Hey, I'm talking here!" The older girl apologized, but was doing everything she could not to let another laugh escape. "Can you control yourself, you animal?"

"Yes ma'am," Maya obliged, still grinning.

"Thank you." She exhaled and laid her head upon her roommate's shoulder—a spot that felt like home more than any measly four walls ever could. "I need you now more than ever. I need you to tell me if I'm just being crazy here, or if this is something that I should do, jump head first into this? Please, Peaches, tell me what to do."

Maya exhaled and raised her arm to wrap it around the younger girl's torso. She briefly wondered how many of these moments she would have left. And how many she had taken for granted up until this point, before there was ever a possibility of them reaching the endangered list. Gosh, she cherished that girl—this adorable and sweet, trophy of a human being. The best person she had ever met, by far. How lucky she was to have stumbled into the perfect window. Riley and Maya, it had always been Riley and Maya. But now seeing her so close to slipping through her fingers, she realized that somewhere along the line it had become Riley and Lucas. She should be happy for her friend, right? Happy that this beautiful ray of sunshine was on the brink of starting her real life…starting her own family…happy that she had found her Prince Charming. But happiness was the last emotion she could find, and Maya hated herself for that. Instead, she wanted to throw things. She wanted to punch something. She wanted to cry huge tears until she drowned in them. Taking Riley completely into her embrace, she gave her the tightest of hugs, and then let go. "I don't think I can help you with this one, Riles. I think this is that moment when you have to make the decision for yourself, and see where it leads you." Masking her disappointment was turning out to be a pretty difficult task, so Maya rose from the couch not wanting the other girl to notice her sorrow. She secured the blanket solely around Riley, before walking towards their door and grabbing her leather jacket off of that purple hook.

"Where are you going?" Riley began lifting up off the couch but the other girl waved her off, signaling for her not to bother. "Maya, you can't really be walking out right now."

Maya didn't look back at the couch even once. She couldn't. Those chocolate eyes were guaranteed to be irresistibly wide with sadness and fear—a brutal combination that would play tricks on even the strongest of wills. And Maya was quite frankly tired of being the one that was being left. There was no way that she was going to sit on that couch for a second longer, inevitably waiting to have the only person that she could always count on to be to be by her side tell her that it was all about to come to an end. This story was one the broken girl was way too familiar with, and as many times as she had lived it, it never worked out in her favor. "I'm going get some air."

"Will you be coming back?" Riley asked, "I can wait up until you get back."

"Just go to sleep, Riles. Go to bed."

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**A/N: Holidays are dwindling down a bit, so hopefully I can knock some more chapters out on a reasonable timeline. Hope everyone enjoys, as always reviews are encouraged and appreciated. Until the next update, have a good start to your 2020!**

**-Lauren **


	3. Chapter 3: Gift of a Friend

Maya's feet were stepping forward down the sidewalk, but she didn't have a clue where they were leading her. She didn't care, so long as it was farther away from the bad news. The streets seemed busier than normal tonight, and the blaring horns of the impatient cab drivers offered a good distraction from any thoughts. Block by block, construction site after construction site, her boots began to dig into her small feet a little more than was comfortable. She stopped for a rest at the closest open spot—a small Irish pub called McGee's. She had actually been there a couple times before and knew that they served a delicious Shepherd's Pie, so needing to give her kicks a break here wouldn't be the worst way to spend her time. Sitting at the bar, she ordered a glass of wine and her meal—Maya didn't drink often, but she had discovered that on really bad days it was a good tool for numbing feelings.

Finishing off a second glass, her lips were now slightly stained with the red of the Cabernet. "Is this seat taken?" Recognizing the voice immediately, she smiled.

"Well if it isn't my favorite little super-genius." She motioned her hand to the seat beside her and leaned over to give him a hug. "What are you doing here, Fark? Finally ditching those boring books to begin your rebellious phase? I mean it's after midnight, you're usually into your forth hour of sleep by now."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny as always," Farkle deadpanned. "You know, when you use your brain as much as I do, it's very important to give it proper rest. On second thought…you wouldn't know that." He smirked at her, but was met with a small shove, nearly knocking him off of his stool. "Okay, I deserved that. But I came here to find you, Maya. Riley called me. She's worried about you, ya know?"

The girl scoffed and raised her finger up to signal the bartender. "Christ Almighty, can't a gal take a night out on the town without giving cause for a search party? I mean how did you even know I was here, what are you, tracking me or something?" Her friend fell silent and shifted his eyes.

"Farkle!"

"What? I don't track you! I just happen to have an app that can tell me where any of my friends are at any given time…"

"That's tracking, ya freak!"

Farkle laughed and nodded his head. "Lighten up, I installed it in middle school, and it's for emergency purposes only. One day you'll all appreciate me and the perks that come with knowing someone containing my endless capabilities."

Impossible to be anything but completely amused by the kid, Maya agreed and gave his hand a gentle pat. "I already appreciate you, buddy, and I'm glad you came. Otherwise, I'd just be a pathetic loser drinking alone. So what are you having?"

"Maya, you know I don't drink. It kills brain cells. I need as many of those as possible if I ever plan on taking over the world."

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard this all before. But I've had a really bad night, so do you think just this once you could let your bad-influence friend do what she does best and corrupt you into killing just a couple of those brain cells? Pleeaaase? You could even say it's for research purposes!" Maya stuck out her lower lip and gave her best fake-pout. "I mean you're already up past your bedtime, at least let me buy you a drink for your troubles," she coaxed, knowing that Farkle would do anything to be there for any of his friends. If there was one thing about Farkle that never changed, it was that he was the most loyal and generous person when it came to his friends and he loved them all. Equally.

He let out a sigh of defeat, accepting that he never stood a chance against Maya's determination. The girl was very stubborn when she set her mind to something. "Fine, for one night only I will allow you to corrupt me, Miss Hart," he relented. "But if Smackle finds out, just be advised I'm telling her you tricked me."

"Yay!" Maya squealed, ordering another round for herself and a Screwdriver for her friend. She was aware how much Farkle loved his orange juice, so it was easy to figure that would be the best hope of him actually enjoying an alcoholic beverage. For the tiniest moment, her mind was off of Riley, and she was feeling nothing but gratitude for the boy's unexpected company.

People began to trickle out of the dimly lit pub as the two sat, side-by-side, heart-by-heart. It was growing quieter but the girl didn't notice because she had taken on a pretty heavy buzz and no longer needed the outside world to distract her. "Now, are you going to tell me about this bad night?" Farkle took his first sip, and though he'd never admit it, Maya could tell he approved. "Why did you leave, Maya? Why are you here with me right now, instead of at home with Riley?"

"She's going to leave, Fark. She's going to go off with Huckleberry and get married have lots of horse babies and eventually real babies, and life is going to do that annoying thing it does where at first we talk a lot, but then she gets busy and I get busy, and we talk less and less, then the day comes where we are just completely out of each other's lives. I'm losing her," her voice broke.

"You are not losing her, Maya. She doesn't even know if she's goi-"

"She's going," the young blonde interrupted. "Come on, man, I've seen this movie a thousand times. Aren't you supposed to be good at guessing spoilers? The boy sweeps the girl up off of her feet, they move to a far away land, and they live happily ever after. End scene. Roll credits. " The buzz was growing even more now, and Maya had zero intention of slowing down. She figured it was her best chance of keeping the tears from forming that she so desperately wanted to shed.

"You know Riley more than anyone else in the world. It doesn't matter if she's here, or in Texas, or off in a fairytale, raising unicorns. She would never do anything to let your friendship fail. She would make every effort she could to keep you in her life. And she will, Maya, she will." Farkle pushed up the sleeves of his hoodie, and clasped his hands together on the bar top. "This isn't some movie where everything gets wrapped up in two hours and each supporting character bends to the will of the lead actors. This is your life too. You get to write it. If you want Riley to stay in your life, then do everything you can to make sure that the distance doesn't take that away."

"But everything will be different," Maya breathed, feeling frustrated that Farkle wasn't seeing this the same way she was. "She won't be the first person I get to see in the morning, with her messy hair and her weird zombie face because it takes her at least an hour to fully wake up. She won't be the first one I can run to whenever I am feeling low and need just someone to make me believe in myself again. She won't be there, calming my nerves before each art show. I won't have her hugs, or her cute little laughs when she's showing me funny animal videos on YouTube, or her late night stories on the bay window about whatever went on in Rileytown that day. I won't be the one cleaning up all of her spills, or taking care of her when she thinks she's fallen deathly ill, but really its just the sniffles. It will be Lucas getting those things. My things." The girl propped her head up with her arm and lowered her eyes down to the barely touched plate in front of her. It was meal she would savor on any regular day, yet tasted so bland in a world without Riley. "You know I like Lucas…and appreciate with every bone in my body that he can take care of her, and loves her for exactly the person that she is. I want them to be happy, Farkle, I do. I just wish that I didn't have to lose my whole entire life in the process."

Farkle fell speechless. He had never experienced many of these moments before—ones where he realized that he had been completely clueless. He was brilliant, after all, an expert in the subject of his friends and the subject of pretty much everything else. But this one was something he never predicted, however now understanding, it all made so much sense. He picked up his glass and finished it, tasting the burn of the vodka at the bottom. "Maya…" the boy cleared his throat, "you love Riley."

"Well of course I love her, you idiot, she's my best friend, my family." She squinted her blue eyes at him, questioning how she ever thought this chump could be so smart. "You love Riley too, everybody loves Riley. She's probably the most lovable human being in the entire tri-state area…Where is this going? Do you plan to tell me next that my hair is blonde, or that I enjoy painting, perhaps?"

His body shifted and he gave her a dismissive look. "No…you don't get what I'm saying…You're in love with Riley."

Maya let out a laugh a little louder than it should have been. This dude is nuts, she thought to herself, note to future-Maya, never let Farkle drink. "Buddy, I think it's time you lay off the booze. We may have gone a little far with your brain cells," she winked at him, and then signaled for the check.

Farkle glared down the bartender, daring her to do anything except bring them their next drink. "Be a dear, we're going to need more liquid support for this next part." Instantly he kicked himself for probably coming off as rude, so he made a mental memo to leave the young woman a considerable tip—social interactions were never his strong suit, and it was often that he felt the need to overcompensate for the areas in which he lacked. "Look at me" his attention was now turned to his right, where his best friend remained looking puzzled. "Really look at me. I'm you're friend, I've known you for nearly as long as you've known Riley, right?"

"Right," she nodded.

"Farkle time?"

"If you insist, but I really don't see how you're going to spin this one." It was comical. Another good joke to add to her already overfull diary of them. Maybe drinking alone wouldn't have been such a consolation prize.

Apprehensive, he pulled his sleeves back down, and adjusted his black hood more evenly on his shoulders. His mind was working overtime to figure out the best way to approach this conversation, and he wished he'd had more time to prepare. But here was this girl he had loved so much, dealing with a loss she didn't even understand herself, and his own heart was breaking for the pain he could only recently comprehend she was going through. Therefore he'd give this one his absolute best. "What you feel for me is different than what you feel for her, correct?"

It took no time for Maya to concur. "I'm sorry, amigo, I care about you more than I care about a cute pair of shoes...But Riley ranks on a whole other level. She's my best friend."

"That's where you're wrong. Maya, I'm your best friend…picture your perfect day. With Riley you want to be the one there when she first wakes up…with me, you just want to tell me about it later—how happy you were when you were the first one there when she woke up. If it was me moving instead, away with Smackle, would you feel like this? Would you be at this bar, having to anesthetize yourself with wine to hide from whatever it is you're dealing with?"

The girl thought for a second. She loved Farkle to death, and would never want him to leave. But she wouldn't feel lost. She wouldn't feel as if her life was ending…she would just be ecstatic for him—ecstatic that his life was beginning. "No…" despite the alcohol, tears were fully forming against her will. "I'd just be happy for you." Grabbing a napkin, she wiped the bottom of her eyes, trying to contain her mascara the best that she possibly could. Was he right? Was she in love with Riley? She had dated many boys through college, but none of them ever held a candle to what was always waiting at home. No place with any boy was ever as special as the spot she'd always end up at—the bay window. Nothing would ever feel like that. No one would ever take her spot. There was not a person in the world as rare and unique as a Riley, and she was so fortunate that a Riley would ever even look her way. "Oh…" Maya shook her head, her lungs hit with a sack of bricks. She had been blind. Always, it had been Riley. How stupid could she be to fall down that rabbit hole—into something that could only end in disappointment—in upset. "How did this happen?" Mascara be damned, she let it all go. Her stubbornness was no longer able to fight this battle. All guards were destroyed. "How did I fuck this up?"

Farkle took the girl into his arms and placed a soft kiss to the top of her forehead. Her drifting tears were seeping into the fabric of his shoulder, but he didn't care. That's what shoulders are there for,to hold up a friend when they are unable to do it on their own, he thought. "It's going to be okay," his voice was a whisper. "I've got you."

His body was comforting, and felt safe. For as scrawny of a boy that he was, his hug would fool anyone. As time passed, Maya was even less ready to go home—less ready to see the girl that was shattering everything she knew, and to see the life she wanted until the end of time fade away. "Hey," she looked up, with red eyes and black-streaked cheeks. "Can I crash on your couch tonight? I can't go back there. Not tonight. Not yet."

The boy rubbed her back up and down once with his hand and then gave it a kind pat. "Of course you can. Mi casa es su casa. I'm here for you, Maya."

Stepping outside, the cold air hit the small girl with a jolt, and she clung to the boy for warmth. She didn't know how a day that could start off so normal and comforting could end with so much insecurity and perplexity, but at least she had a friend. At least she had a person that was willing to stay—willing to forgo an early bedtime and kill a few brain cells just to make sure she was taken care of. As the cab slowed into the corner of the street to pick them up, Maya was solely gracious to have an extraordinary friend she could sit by on the devastating ride.


	4. Chapter 4: Light Too Bright

Chapter Four: Light Too Bright

Coffee had never smelled so amazing. She opened her eyes as soon as that life-saving aroma hit her nostrils, needing a couple seconds for her brain to fully recognize where she was. The couch was beige and very stiff, surrounded by eggshell white walls harboring a giant Albert Einstein poster to her left. The thick blanket on her lap appeared to be a design of the periodic table, however, she wasn't too familiar with the thing, always looking like a bunch of boring letters fit into an unsymmetrical alignment of blocks. Rising up slightly to prop her back on the pillow behind her, the girl was hit with the recollection of everything that had occurred the previous day. Her head was pounding and the lights were way too bright for this time of morning. _What time even is it? _She thought, picking up her phone. _12PM. Fuck. _Already 12PM, four missed calls from Riley, even more text messages, and a couple random email notifications she'd never check—the young artist was completely negligent when it came to her email inbox.

Farkle stepped towards her carrying a more-than-ever needed cup of caffeine, passing it off to his fellow hung-over friend. "Remind me again how I let you talk me into buying more alcohol on the way home?" He questioned the blonde, gazing her down. "I don't think I've felt this bad since passing out and banging my head on the floor in health class…twice."

Laughing as she recalled the memory, she sipped the scalding hot coffee, immediately burning her tongue. "Yeesh. Guess I deserve that." As he lowered himself down beside her, she placed her hand on his lap and turned to face him. "Look, Fark, I'm sorry. I know we both feel like complete shit this morning, but really…last night meant a lot to me. So thank you."

"Well that's what friends are for, Miss Hart. Or at least that's what I've read." He took his phone out of the pocket of his flannel pajama pants, noticing his own missed calls from their concerned friend. "This girl is relentless, isn't she?" joking, Farkle showed the numerous alerts to Maya. "You really need to let her know that you're okay. I mean I told her that you were staying here last night and she's still freaking out about what's going on. Put her mind at ease, Maya. Tell her you're alive, and haven't been captured by any terrorists or anything." His tone was sarcastic, because he knew as far-fetched as it seemed, it was exactly the kind of thought Riley would have when her head was in overdrive.

Leaning forward, the girl placed her mug on the small table in front of her…on a coaster of course—she had made that mistake too many times before. "Farkle, how am I supposed to tell her anything when _I _don't even understand what's going on. What the hell am I supposed to even say? That she should ditch her perfect cowboy and stay with me in our tiny apartment so that we can risk our entire friendship on the very small chance of it working out? Odds are, she doesn't even feel the same way. I mean Riley has been with Lucas since we were just dumb kids. They make sense. They fit. She is sunshine and he is the one that deserves to ride his horse in it." Maya shook her head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "How delusional could I be? We don't make sense at all. Going with Lucas would be the very best thing for her."

"Honestly, I have no solution on the right way to handle this is. Which is hard for me to admit, because I am Farkle—I know everything. But with this, I _don't _know how Riley feels. I _don't _know if she even likes girls or thinks of you in that way. Her and Lucas are the same, two kindred spirits that love everyone with their entire beings, and have faith in the world they live in. He is one of my best friends, and without a doubt he would do anything to protect her—to give her the life that she deserves, the one we _all _want for her." Farkle found his friend's hand and pulled it closer to him, while shrugging his shoulder. "However, I do know that opposites attract. I know that Riley is where you find your peace, and that you are the person she has _always _put first in her life. I've told you before, Maya, she is the day, and you are the night. You can't have one without the other. So, yeah, maybe the way you guys have each other won't be in the exact way that you hope for, but still the day doesn't exist without the night. Look, you have always been honest with Riley from the first moment you climbed into that bay window. No matter what you say, you won't lose her—the one choice you could make to lose her is exactly what you're doing right now—avoiding her. So go. Have your moment in the sun. And remember that even on the rainy days and the cloudy days, the sun is still going to be there in the atmosphere, keeping you alive, even if you can't see it from the angle you want."

The small girl rose from the couch as the blanket she had slept with fell to her feet. Gazing down at herself, she realized how much of a mess she was—wrinkled clothes from the night before, disheveled hair, the smell of booze seeping out of her pores—A walking disaster with very little to offer herself, let alone anyone else. It had been a very long time since Maya had viewed herself as unworthy, but the thought of trying to hold on to the biggest star in the universe shined very brightly on every single reason why it would be impossible. Cringing, she asked the boy for a shower, desperately wanting to wash that terrible feeling away. "And maybe I can bum a Smackle outfit?" Her big blue eyes blinked charmingly, as they always did when the request for a favor was in the works.

"Smackle outfit, you say?" Farkle chuckled nervously, "Why on Earth would my girlfriend's clothes be _here_, in my one man abode? We barely hold hands, Maya, great Scott, what do you think, we are animals?" Wiping his forehead, he averted his gaze and downed the rest of his mug.

"Look dude, I don't have your alien IQ, but I'm not an idiot. Where does she stash her spare digs, man?"

He hung his head with cherry red cheeks. Lying was never one of his skills. "Back of the closet to the left. If you reach the Theremin, you've gone too far." A slender finger pointed out towards the desired destination, but embarrassed, Farkle still avoided any type of eye contact.

"Thanks, ya perv. Out in a jiffy." Maya made her way to the shower to scrub off any scum from her dirtied morale. It felt good to get clean…to clear her thoughts and for just a few minutes, and allow the warm water to do all of the work. The questions that lie outside of that washroom were heavy and confusing and not something she was at all ready to deal with. But looking in the mirror, with wet hair, and a fresh face, she at least felt more like herself. Grabbing a towel, she patted herself down and took a gander into the surprisingly large Farkle closet until she reached the Theremin and realized she had gone too far. Turning around, many Smackle outfits hung, tucked away inconspicuously, and it made Maya happy to think of her friends growing up and more importantly, growing _together._

Walking out clad in the least-nerdy ensemble she could muster, she grabbed her purse and her phone and embraced Farkle, knowing that it was time to face the real world. "Going home?" the boy asked.

"Yeah…but I've got a stop to make on the way."

He raised an eyebrow and held her out to his front. "Making time for a quick lesson on your walk, perhaps?"

"Perhaps," she winked.

Farkle wrapped Maya's jacket around her and looked at his friend, proud—proud of how much she had overcome, proud of the young woman she had grown into, and proud that she still wanted him to be one of the lucky few in audience of her journey. "You know, I never thought I'd see the day where you'd voluntarily want to attend a class…dare I say this new attire is getting to you, Miss Hart?"

"Something like that, Fark. Something like that." Opening the door, Maya stepped out and trekked down the hall onto the elevator. As she pushed the button to descend to the ground level, she hoped that she wasn't pushing that same button on her life. Everything the girl had felt secure in could be so easily destroyed with a fast drop to the bottom. But her feelings were her feelings, and they weren't going to go away. Swiping to unlock her phone, she opened the conversation she had been blowing off all night and sent a long awaited reply. "I'm okay, I'll be home tonight so we can talk. P.S. stop tearing those napkins. P.S.S. that doesn't mean bite fingernails either." With a smile, Maya tucked it back into her pocket. There was no clue in the girls mind what their conversation would be exactly, but she knew she didn't want Riley to worry. After all, she'd never want to intentionally hurt her best friend—and sometimes not hurting a person means sacrificing your own best interests.

.

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**A/N: Hope everyone is enjoying this read, again I apologize for any rustiness. If you like this, please leave your reviews, as I always love to read them. So much left for this story, so stay tuned...**


	5. Chapter 5: Disrupting the Class

Chapter Five: Disrupting the Class

The building looked almost exactly the same as she remembered, but the feeling inside was completely foreign, no longer being surrounded in the drab halls by the people that made it worth showing up. There was a lingering smell that she placed all too easily as Sloppy-Joe day and for a couple of seconds her mind wondered if she could still pass as a high school student in order to sneak a bite in before she left. _I mean hell, most of them are already taller than me_, a fact that was the case in just about every location she found herself. All manners be damned, she barged into that old classroom just as she had barged into the bay window of the man's house countless times as a teenager. The guy was basically her family after-all, and one of the people that had known Maya the longest, so anything other than her typical Maya-entrance would certainly give way for concern.

"All right Matthews, now what are we going to do about this Riley situation? I'm counting on the King of Schemes for this one, so let's forego any time wasted on common decencies and dive straight into the plotting part!" Maya marched up towards the front, slapping her hands down loudly on Cory's wooden desk. "Come on, man, whatcha got?"

His brown eyes huge, he placed his grasp onto Maya's shoulders and slowly turned her body around to face the shocked stares she was receiving from his full room of students. "Forgive her, she's just a stray," he chuckled nervously, flashing his teeth in only the way that a Cory Matthews does.

"Oh wow….Well hello, young chumps," reaching up into the air to calm the class, she peered over all of the high schoolers that were filling the seats once surrounding her best naps. "Let me guess, this guy is trying to sell that whole 'people change people' thing on you guys? Well get used to hearing that, because you'll be hearing it for the next four years," Maya couldn't help but poke fun, entirely entertained. "Now what do we have here…_you two!" _she pointed to the girls to her front, "you're best friends, probably in some weird boy triangle, but little does the boy know, he doesn't matter at all…and umm…YOU! Yes, you!" focus was set, "You're the glue. See all this time I thought this lug's daughter was the glue, but really it was the loyal and devoted nerdy boy that held everyone together. What's your name, glue?"

"Dinkus," the young man replied.

"Oh my god, Dinkus?" Maya returned her tickled look back to Cory, "This is too easy dude, how does this not crack you up?"

Pulling his former student off to the corner, he clinched his eyebrows and kept his voice low. "Maya, what on Earth are you doing here? I did manage to have other students outside of the group of yous, clearly, and this is _their_time to learn, no?"

Realizing she had intruded, her humor shrank slightly. He was right, these kids deserved to have the best just as she had, and Mr. Matthews was without a doubt the best teacher—endlessly the one to guide the troubled girl in the right direction, never a sacrifice he wouldn't make for her, and always the first to expense his time for a person in need of help. She had been so lucky to know him, so lucky to be loved by him. Before Shawn, Cory was the best shot at a dad that Maya had ever thought possible. "I'm sorry," she sighed, "I didn't mean to screw up your day. I just wanted to talk to you, Matthews, I feel like I'm losing my mind right now. I know if anyone can set me straight, it's you."

Looking at the young lady he had watched grow from a tiny child to an independent, though still wily, adult, it was no secret that she was distressed. It was never a settling feeling for him to observe one of his children feeling so low, and with his fellow taco-lover, his heart ached the same for her as it would one of his own. "Hey," Cory gave a clasp to her shoulder. "Give me an hour, and then we'll talk, okay?"

On the verge of tears, she agreed and directed the class's attention back to their dutiful instructor. What was going on with her lately? Tears were not something that the strong and resilient Maya came by easily, but ever since yesterday it seemed like it was the only reaction her ducts knew. She needed an answer. She needed a fix. She needed for someone, _anyone_, to just put everything back together—a person to make all of it okay again before it was too late. Matthews was her last stop before going back home, and Maya knew that it was her last hope for keeping the person she loved so much and for so long, close. Because if there ever was a human being that may love Riley as much as she did, it would be Cory Matthews.

Finishing the last bite of a Sloppy Joe, Maya was pleasantly surprised that even years later, the food was still very much up to par in that cafeteria…and hey, a free meal. Turns out, there is a definite bright side to being only five foot—no one suspects a thing when you're twenty-two years old standing in the lunch line. Wiping her mouth with a napkin, she caught a peripheral view of a lingering body at her side. "Ready to talk now?" Ever respectful of lunchroom duties since the days she had to work them, Maya gathered all of the discarded trash onto her red tray, discarding all of the contents into the correct bins.

"Ready." Cory took the girl and guided her back to his classroom, setting her down in the precise spot that she had sat under his leadership only four years prior. After a pause he picked up his chalk and scribbled on the blackboard behind. "So, Maya, Belgium 1831?" he asked, pulling out the weakened chair affront his desk, and drifting down with elbows set atop the surface.

"No, no Belgium 1831. This is NOT that, how could it ever be_that_with Riley?" Annoyed, Maya was already regretting coming here. She thought this guy, of _all_people, would be on her side. She thought that maybe, just maybe, if anyone wanted to keep Riley here as much as she did, it would be Riley's father. Maya had only known a real father's attachment for a few years, but she still understood how powerful it was, and that a dad would _always_want to keep their baby girl close. "I'm not giving up on this. Riley doesn't need to move, she doesn't need to throw away her whole life!" The girl's voice was coming off as more hostile than she had intended. Her lungs took a deep inhale. "Lucas is making this all about himself. He's stripping her away from everything that she appreciates and aspires to be and is instead bringing her across the country to har-har Texas. _His_place. _His _home. It's not fair. Fuck, she's built her entire world here. How is this right?"

The older man stood silent for a minute, taking in Maya's words. _Of course_this wasn't easy for him either, his first born, his delicate and tenderhearted child, possibly moving to a land far beyond his reach. It tore him apart inside. Riley was the treasure that transitioned him into a dad, the one that unknowingly made every single other part of his life seem insignificant. When a father meets his daughter for the first time, something happens. A man holds those tiny untouched fingers looking at those impossibly thin fingernails, admiring them as being so small amongst his own rough and beaten down ones. So innocent and fragile, a thing he would give his life to guard from any harm at all—with that, a dad's heart is stolen so effortlessly. Cory vowed from that day in the hospital to be the one forever by his daughter's side, the one that would show her what it meant to feel utter adoration. To prove to her that love had no boundaries, and most importantly—to protect her, as best he could. He looked into those newborn trusting brown eyes that mirrored his own and knew that from the initial timid cry she made, the extraordinary girl deserved nothing but butterflies and rainbows in all lifetimes to come. However, he now realized that the butterflies she deserved were not his to give anymore. She had grown up, and was ready to accept them from someone else. Thinking of Riley's recent chance to go off on her own with the man he knew would do right by his daughter, he couldn't help but reminisce of the time when it was he and Topanga setting off on their own journey. It was scary, and the world of New York would be a whole new one to meet, however he was confident that Topanga was the woman he had loved with all of his being, and that any step with her would be a step in the right direction—a choice that had proven to be the best thing to ever happen to him…So how could he deny his daughter the same opportunity? "Maya, I know you want to keep her here, I do too. As a parent, I would desire almost nothing more than my children to stay as close to me as possible for the rest of their lives."

"Almost nothing more?" her thumbs were twiddling on the small desktop and she refused to look up.

"Yes, _almost._" The clock above the door showed 3:59PM now, and Cory was feeling drained. This news hadn't been easy for him either, however, misery loves company and he was reassured to be in the presence of a person that could understand his same sentiment. "More than the 'almost'," he air-quoted, "I just want Riley to be happy…even if that means letting her go. Sometimes the absolute best way to love someone is to let them go—let them make their own decisions and find their own path—to watch them be happy. You know her, Maya, more than anyone. Do you think that Lucas makes her happy?" Rising from his chair, he walked over to Maya and lifted her chin. "Could this be Riley's happily-ever-after?"

_Goddamn it_, her eyes were doing that thing again—heavy and ready to break down. _How does this keep happening?_Mind wondering, she recalled the times she had been present with the two during their times in college…watching her best friend and the cowboy cuddle up during their movie nights, Riley always spilling the popcorn of course, but Lucas having no shame at all and eating it straight off of the floor…seeing the flowers delivered for every single anniversary, even on the dumb ones like 'first time cooking a meal together.' Admiring that huge and infectious smile that Riley had when she'd come back from one of their dates, and would be crazily eager to tell Maya every detail as they sat on the bay window. The boy had made Riley happy—she was certain he had enamored the girl that she cared about so ferociously—much better than she ever could. He was her prince, and there was no mistaking that. Matthews was spot on, once again. Loving someone meant letting them go. It meant putting them first, wanting what was best for them. "He is. He is her happily-ever-after…" Crushed. Maya was crushed. Just like that, any hope she had hidden away for herself disappeared. _Selfish though, _she reasoned. Her best friend deserves the best. "…we let her go now?"

"Maya…" Cory removed his suit coat and laid it on top of the girl's leather one, knowing how cold she got when she was uncomfortable. "We let her go now."

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**A/N: Is anyone actually enjoying this story? Lmao, I've just received so little feedback than I was used to on my other series fic, and I'm not sure how this is being taken by you guys, so I'm wondering if I'm just writing into a void here. (Not you, Dragonsprit, I know you always review and I really love that.) But please comment if you like this and actually want me to keep going with it. I have a lot more in mind for this story, but if no one is interested then I could always just move on to a different story on something else. Just let me know. As always, appreciative of your opinions**

**-Lauren**


	6. Chapter 6: Mistaken Sounds

Chapter Six: Mistaken Sounds

Nervous…she was so fucking nervous. This was her home, and the thought of going inside made Maya want to throw up. She wasn't ready. Her hand rose to the center of that sunflower yellow door to knock, but then lowered almost as fast as it went up. Why would she knock at her own place? _Idiot_, she reckoned, _I'm such an idiot. _Calm was out the window at this point, and the girl knew that she needed to collect herself before stepping even one foot closer to the overwhelming ambiguity inside of their apartment. Leaning her disorganized head back against the chipped paint wall, she let her entire body slide down it, shedding all weight of the situation. As her bottom hit the floor, she pulled up her knees, and wrapped her arms around her jean covered legs. No clue of what she would say. No clue of what she'd ask the girl to do.

Riley had given her an out the day prior; she had blatantly told Maya that she was a deciding factor in all of this. Odds are, Maya could go in there and ask Riley not to leave, and she wouldn't. This amazing young woman she couldn't bare to imagine her life without would stay—stay to sit in that bay window with Maya for however long the edgy girl requested…which would be forever, if she was being truthful. She could have Riley's mornings, Riley's middays, and Riley's nights—everything that had made her feel full. Everything that had made her feel like each day was a gift. But how could that ever be a happy ending if Maya was depriving Riley of what she really wanted—Lucas's mornings, Lucas's middays, and Lucas's nights. Was Mr. Matthews right? Was this worth letting go without putting up a fight?

Maya took out her phone and momentarily contemplated texting Farkle requesting to sleep over another night. As her jittery fingers hovered over the letters, she rolled her eyes and tucked the device back into her jacket pocket, thinking of a hurt Riley. A promise had been made to return home tonight and talk, and that's what she'd do. Despite the girl's massive hangover just hours earlier, she so wished for a drink right now, to not face the moment on sober ambitions. But Maya had come unprepared and thereby sober it would be.

She picked herself up, dusted off her pants, and reached down to twist the doorknob, having to remind those pesky lungs to work. "Riles?" Maya cautiously edged over the threshold, removing her jacket and once again placing it on that same purple hook. No response. Panning the living area, the kitchen, and the bay window, there was not a Riley to be seen. "All right then," she said to an audience of zero, continuing to remove her boots and place them by the mat. The table was empty so she filled some space on its top by tossing her keys, clanking loudly as they made contact. "Honey, are you even here?" Her voice was louder now, and still unanswered. Maya couldn't help but be almost annoyed. They were supposed to be having a big talk tonight, a talk to decide their whole future, yet Riley couldn't even bother to show up? Figures. New life, new priorities. _Guess the boy has the girl_. She plopped down on the couch and pulled up Netflix—with the time she had been spending to submit her paintings by deadline, she was drastically behind on every single show she followed. Now was as good a time to catch up as any. It took a whole two minutes before Maya was jolted out of her comfy spot by the door thrusting open. Grabbing the small remote, she paused the show that had not yet even made it past opening credits.

"Maya?" The girl walked in, nearly tripping over herself as she noticed two blue eyes staring back at her. Her arms were swarmed with as many plastic shopping bags as it would take to scare the whales. "Maya! You're back!" Dropping all bags on the mat, the brunette rushed over to embrace her friend, slamming into her harder than she ever had before. "I was extremely worried about you, I'm so glad you're home!" After the initial relief wore off, she pushed Maya back and gave her sternest, most serious glare to the blonde. "Don't you EVER do that to me again! Don't you ever scare me like that! I thought you'd never want to see me again, I thought you'd just finally had enough…" her voice drifted, sorrowed.

What an absurd idea. The most beautiful and wonderful girl in the world, she'd never want to see again? Not a chance. Not a fucking chance. "I'm sorry, Riley, I'm so sorry. I just didn't know what everything meant. This all just happened so fast and I couldn't process it. So I freaked, of course, in typical Maya fashion…but I'm here now. I'm here to talk, about whatever you need to talk about." Maya grabbed the girl's hand and looked down at their rings overlapping each other. "It's you and me. There's nothing we can't handle."

"Well we _will _talk…but before we get into that, can you help me pick up the disaster over there?" Her head prodded towards the wreckage. "It's all your favorites, Peaches, I was just trying to surprise you before you got home." Riley reddened, hating that she was unable to beat her friend back to their apartment…even more frustrated for causing such a mess, just as she did practically every single day. "Chimichangas, tacos, chicken and waffles, pineapple and pepperoni pizza, and of course, a new jigsaw puzzle based off one of your favorite artists, John Constable, in case we got bored." Seeing Maya's smile instilled a hope inside of Riley that she hadn't ruined the awaited evening.

"Oooo, you know just what I like," a bite of pizza was already making its way into Maya's mouth, nearly as soon as she heard Riley mention it, leaving the rest of the bags splayed out on the floor amongst her feet. The girl was always impatient when it came to her snacks. Satisfied with her quick taste, she grabbed a plate to set the remainder of the slice down. Maya then made her way back to the jumble and knelt down beside her clumsy roommate. "Thank you. You really didn't have to do all of this, though. I'm not mad at you, Riley, you didn't need to buy me all of these things or plan any big surprises. You didn't do anything wrong," she reassured.

"I just wanted you to feel happy to be back—I wanted you to come home to everything that you love," the younger girl shrugged, leaning against Maya.

"Trust me," Maya inhaled and then let it all out. "I did."

Together they picked up the remainder of the goodies, loading the countertop with enough food to feed a small army. Taking a beat to settle down from the overly dramatic reunion, the two stood before each other in silence for a moment, appreciative to be back where they both belonged. Matching grins displayed their mutual ease, and again they found themselves in the coziness of a warm hug. "I know you were only away for a night, Peaches, but I missed you more than you can imagine. This place is so lonely without you…and slightly terrifying. I'm pretty sure I heard _gunshots._"

Laughing at her quirky friend, Maya released her grip and guided them to the bay window as she positioned herself next to the other on the cushions. "Riley, you think you hear gunshots every time someone shuts a car door outside. Hell, remember three days ago when you were in your room and I accidentally closed a kitchen cabinet too loudly?"

"Yes, I remember." The brunette admitted, seeing immediately where this was going.

"And what did you do?"

Riley hung her head down in disgrace, letting her long hair cover her shame. "I yelled 'gunshots' and ran into my closet."

"See? Everything is not always as petrifying as your adorable imagination makes it out to be...You just a lot'a work." She nudged her friend with her shoulder and gave the top of the girl's thigh a casual pat. "But that's exactly why we all love ya, Riles. You keep us on our toes."

"You know what _is _scary, Maya?" It was a good segue into the burden on her chest. "Moving—moving away from everything, away from _you_." Riley clutched Maya's hand between her two own longer ones, and fixated her sights on the face of her best friend. "The gunshots are about as intimidating as a bunny nightlight compared to the idea of not having you by my side anymore. Last night was evident enough of that—I couldn't sleep at all, I couldn't eat, and the only thought that ran through my entire brain from the very moment you walked out of here until the very moment I came in and found you laying there on the couch was that I just wanted you back home with me. How could I ever leave, Maya? How could I ever exist in a place that doesn't have my favorite person?" Searching Maya's eyes for any type of indication, Riley's mind raced frantically, pleading the universe for even the smallest sign of what she should do.

Maya lowered her gaze towards her hand, not fully sure how to process Riley's words; it was still interlocked precisely in the spot her hand loved to be held the most… Could this be it? Could this be her moment? If there was ever a time to put a giant stop to this whole outrageous idea, it was certainly now. _Tell her to stay. Tell her to stay. Just open your worthless mouth and tell her to fucking stay. _It was all that was repeating in her head, over and over, on a loop. However, for some reason the words were not coming out, not even beginning to. This was the person she loved more than anything, the kindest and most gentle soul she had ever met—someone that lit up a room just by being in it, and would never intentionally hurt a fly, let alone a human being. However, there was one single individual that Maya had encountered who had closely approached being as wholesome as Riley, as nice as Riley, as generous and caring—only one that deserved to be mentioned in the same category. _Lucas_. It was Lucas…he was a much more worthy person for Riley. By far more reliable and upstanding than Maya could ever hope to be. Why had she even been kidding herself? Everything suddenly clicked in her head, finally understanding her role here—it had been so obvious for so long, proven by that simple moment on the subway when she first released Riley to fall into Lucas's lap. Maya was always the one destined to push Riley out of her shell…to force her out of her comfort zone, and to encourage the girl to make bold choices when Riley was too frightened to do it herself. If anyone deserved the absolute best, it was Riley Matthews…so the best is what she would give her.

Breaking the lock between their hands, Maya pulled Riley in and guided the girl towards her lap so that her young quirky friend could rest a heavy head and heart on Maya's now supportive legs. Rubbing Riley's back, she soaked in this moment, aware it would be one of their last. "Do you trust me?" her voice had discovered its calm.

"More than anyone," Riley answered honestly.

"You have to go, Riles. You have to try. Your life here has been all you've known, so of course you're anxious about leaving…but Lucas is your future. And that life will be pretty amazing too." Maya smiled, finally feeling happy for her friend's upcoming adventure. She knew she was doing the right thing. She knew because sometimes the greatest way to love someone is to let them grow…to let them find their own feet.

"But Maya, I don't thin-"

"Hey," Maya interrupted, combing her fingers through Riley's wavy brown strands, soothing the girl instantly. "Just rest your eyes, honey. You've had a long day, but it's all going to be just fine. You're about to journey into the most beautiful sunrise. This is a _good _thing. This is where you get everything you've ever imagined…" It fell quiet. Peaceful. Maya could see the girl's chest begin to rise and fall more gradually, and knew that she was drifting off to sleep. Here she was, holding the one she loved in their sacred spot, realizing that whatever dreams were about to drift through Riley's mind, she most definitely deserved.

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**A/N: This fic is far from over guys, I hope to be able to post again soon. Thanks to all that gave feedback, I love reading your thoughts.**


	7. Chapter 7: Passing the Reigns

Chapter Seven: Passing the Reigns

The summer had flown by fast, and Maya had been extremely busy—She had been doing very well selling her artwork, and was stacking away as much profit as she could in hopes to afford renting her own little gallery. Finding the perfect location tucked away between a coffee shop and a secondhand bookstore, it blew her mind that it was miraculously unoccupied. The pedestrian traffic down that street was superb, and already she could envision a few of her larger paintings propped in the window to catch their eye and draw them inside. Sure it needed some remodeling, as it was previously a haberdashery that had gone out of business many months ago, but it was extremely charming, holding endless potential for her creativity. It also didn't hurt that the business would be only a small number of blocks from the young artist's apartment, making the hefty deposit not seem as daunting. Rental agreements had been scheduled for completion in only two weeks time, and Maya could not have been more excited. It offered her a much-needed distraction from any troublesome thoughts of Riley, or Lucas, or stupid Texas.

The couple had been quite preoccupied themselves, tying up loose ends, packing up everything they needed to bring with them to Austin, and making many trips to and from the new city in search of a home of their own to begin their new start. It was a stressful headache of a process, but the two had finally settled on a quaint little farmhouse nestled in the middle of a tree-covered four acres. Real estate was reasonably cheap in Texas, at least compared to New York, and with the money the girl had received from a recent advance as well as the modest savings Lucas had set aside while waiting tables during his undergrad studies, they had more than enough for a down-payment. It wasn't going to be easy though, as Lucas was going to be in classes full time and wouldn't be able to work more than twenty hours a week, so the pair agreed that with their new lifestyle they'd have to live a little less frivolously than they were used to.

Scooting his seat back and rising up from the full dinner table, Cory lifted his champagne glass and gave it noticeable clinks with his silver butter knife. Eyeing her husband closely, Topanga gave visible warning to not tap it too hard and crack the glass—it had happened on more occasions than the man was proud of. However this time he succeeded, and placed the flute intact back to his front. It was the last night Riley and Lucas would be in town before their big move, so The Matthews decided it would be appropriate to host an informal going away dinner. "Speech time?" he inquired.

"Well it's not like we haven't had to listen to you ramble on for our entire lives already, so why should tonight be any different?" Maya joked, waving her hand for him to carry on with his monologue.

He looked to the left at his wife. "See, all those years ago I told you that if you fed her, she'd never leave. Now look what you've done." With a fake-scoff Cory returned his attention back to his audience. "Jokes aside, Maya I know I'm the one teacher you ever actually paid attention to…and I think this one will be something that holds true for your thoughts on the matter as well."

Maya grinned at him approvingly and nodded her head.

After clearing his throat, Cory began. "As a father, saying goodbye to my daughter is one of the hardest things I'll ever have to do. I have to admit, I always imagined you staying in _my _world, within my reach so that I could keep a close watch as you grew up and found where you fit in amongst society. One day when you all become parents, you'll see that your children instantly become the center of everything you do—you want to keep them safe, you want to keep them happy, and you want to make sure that they are taken care of for as long as you live. But the funny thing about life is that we actually have very little control over it, and we can never predict the future, nor where it is leading us. Riley, you have grown into such a beautiful and loving young woman—one that would make any parent proud. I know you have a grounded head on your shoulders and will remain true to yourself and your values wherever it is that you end up, even if that means I'm not just a cab ride away to witness it. Just promise me you'll always follow your heart—you have such an enormous heart, and that will undoubtedly lead you to everything you could ever want." Cory took a couple steps towards his daughter so that he could secure her in a type of safe hug that only a dad can give. She clutched tightly onto the back of his gray suit jacket and buried her face into his chest. Once letting go, Cory placed a kiss to her forehead, and then focused on the girl's boyfriend. "And Lucas? I know you're a kind-hearted young man that has always done right by Riley. I trust you with her. Promise me that you'll take as much pride in the job that I now have to hand off—promise to keep her safe, to keep her happy, and to make sure she is taken care of?"

Lucas stood to match Cory's position and took his hand to shake it tightly, while using his other to give the older man a firm squeeze on the shoulder. Making eye contact, he wanted to prove how serious he was planning to take this new responsibility. "I promise, sir. I won't let you down."

A rapid arm reached up and grabbed Lucas's collared shirt, pulling him about two feet down to catch her stern glare. "You hurt her, Huckleberry, and I'll kill you."

Impossible not to laugh, Lucas shook his head and tipped his invisible cowboy hat. "I have no doubts that you would, Maya. I wouldn't dream of it." Being released, he smoothed out the fresh wrinkles and rejoined his seat next to Riley.

"As touching as all of this is, and I do mean that sincerely, can we just get to dessert already?" Auggie pointed to the chocolate cheesecake sitting untouched on the counter. "At this rate we won't be eating until these two are two thousand miles away bailing hay."

"Aww, you know you'll miss me, Auggie." Riley rolled up her napkin and tossed it across the table at her younger brother.

Dodging, the curly haired fourteen year-old stuck his tongue out. "Maybe, but I'll miss Lucas more."

Topanga took this as a sign that it was indeed time for dessert in order to prevent the rowdiness that was sure to erupt amongst her two children. Handing a plate to each person at the table, she couldn't help but feel appreciative to have this night with her family all together. She wanted time to pass very slowly, so that she could soak up each laugh, each spoken word, and each unique and defining characteristic that her amazing family exhibited. Her life had been extraordinarily blessed, dealing her an even better set of humans than could be imagined.

As the family finished their dinner, numerous hugs were exchanged with many tears being wiped. Each person took a turn saying goodbye to the couple, giving their best wishes and encouraging remarks, until the tired parents and their son divided to their rooms for bed.

Lucas and Riley made their way to the front door of the Matthew's home and she wrapped her soft hands around his neck to guide him in for a goodnight kiss. "Tomorrow is our day," she whispered against the boy's lips. "Are you ready?"

Leaning his head into hers, he smiled. "With you, Riley, I am ready for anything."

Riley parted with a final kiss to the tip of his nose and then retrieved his shoes from the right side of the door, passing them off to Lucas. "Enjoy your night out with Farkle, but don't get too crazy. Maya seems to believe he has an undercover wild side," she smirked.

"I won't go overboard," he assured, locking their pinkies as a guarantee. "Hangovers and early flights don't mix too well, madam." Lucas always found it amusing how much enjoyment it brought everyone when he'd speak in southern vernacular. Truth was, he didn't really talk like that at all, however, he figured it was worth it to occasionally give the people what they expected. Yankees were so easily entertained. "You have fun with Maya, okay? Let me know when you guys make it back home."

"I will. We'll be leaving soon." With that, the young man exited and Riley turned around to address her friend. "So Maya, you want to do this thing the right way, or what?"

Putting her empty plate into the sink, the blonde took a deep breath and exhaled, having a very difficult time accepting this was the last night she'd have with her roommate. The summer had gone, and now the situation was impossible to avoid—impossible to distract her self from. "Let's do it," she said, reading Riley's mind.

The girls grabbed hands and then marched up the couple of steps that led to Riley's former bedroom. Inside, the room looked completely different. Cory and Topanga had converted it into a shared office nearly a year after Riley had moved out. There was a wooden desk in the corner, flooded with Topanga's case paperwork, and various bookshelves stuffed with millenniums of history. The bay window was naked, as those pillows and cushions were now in the girls' apartment. However, as they sat down, everything felt exactly as it used to. The decorated room it was located in did not define that precious spot, nor the fabric that had laid across the top—its value only came from the people that chose to sit there.

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**A/N: I'm trying to post chapters as quickly as I have time to, but I can't promise they will come as fast each time. I'll do my best though!**


	8. Chapter 8: Following the Song

Chapter Eight: Following the Song

The room was lit only by the moonlight outside, proving to be plenty for sufficient visibility. Maya took a mental picture of the scene, admiring how the shadows contoured Riley's features perfectly, knowing without a doubt that she'd want to transfer that image to a canvas. At least _that _would be something she could hold on to. "Riley, before you go, I just have to tell you something, okay? And you know I'm not always great at putting my thoughts together, so just be patient with me."

"What is it, Maya?" The brunette responded, a tad worried.

Adjusting herself more comfortably onto the seat, Maya pulled her legs up and crossed them Indian-style. She could see Riley's wide-eyed face, and found it funny how the girl always jumped so quickly to concern. "It's nothing bad…I just really want to thank you, Riles," she said softly, propping her head onto the younger girl's shoulder. "Going through life with you was the best gift I could have ever asked for. I seriously didn't even think a person like you existed; you just have so much faith in this world, and faith in people—in _me_. You believed in me when no one else did, and carried hope for me in times when I was unable to find hope in anything. I just don't know where I would have ended up if I'd never met you, but I know it wouldn't have been anywhere good…Riley, you saved me." Maya hesitated, feeling her friend's body shift as Riley was lifting her shaky hand to wipe the bottom of her brown eyes. "I don't mean to make you sad, honey, I just wanted you to know that no matter what happens next, and where we go from here, knowing you has been the most important part of my life—regardless of the future, I'll always be appreciative of our past."

"Wow…" Pausing, Riley switched to utilizing her long sleeves in order to absorb the heavier streams now trickling down her face. "I don't even know what to say…" She could tell that her nose was on the verge of running, and was using every muscle in her body to prevent it from happening in an attempt to salvage the other girl's pretty blonde locks draped upon her shoulder—it was a lost-cause from the start. "Maya, I never wanted it to be like this. I never wanted the day to come where you and I would be saying goodbye and moving on into different parts of our lives without each other," her voice broke, and it was becoming more difficult to force words out of a swollen throat. "You know, family, friends, and boys aside, it always felt like you were my soul-mate. That we met for a reason, for me to give you hope, and for you to give me courage and strength…I didn't just save _you_, Maya, we saved _each other_." The girl's chest was heavy, and she wanted more than anything to break down in that moment—to release all of the sadness, anxiety, and reservations that had been building up inside for the entire summer. "How am I supposed to do this without you? How am I supposed to be brave and fearless without the one person who makes me those things?"

Lifting her head back up, Maya placed her palm upon Riley's heart and could feel it pounding sturdily. It was the strongest heart she'd ever known. "Everything you need is in _here_. I'll be with you forever, Riley, in here." She removed her palm and smiled calmingly. "Embrace change. See where this journey leads you. Once upon a time I heard a song. I followed that song through a bay window, and discovered an amazing person on the other end of it, not even understanding at the time what kind of happiness that would bring me. This move with Lucas, Riley, this could be the song _you're_ hearing. This could bring you to everything you have ever wanted. All you have to do is follow it."

"Do you really believe that?" The brunette asked faintly.

"I believe in _you…_and that if you don't at least _try _then you will regret it."

Riley nodded though there was little that could be said to take away her nerves. "What if it doesn't work out? What if I hate it there?"

Uncrossing her legs, she hung them back over the edge of the seat and pushed herself up against the window behind. "Well then," Maya breathed, "You will be okay in that instance too, because you have a safety net. Remember that you always have a room with your name on it…it's in a cute little apartment, that has a sunflower-yellow door, and includes the company of one best friend." She spotted Riley's face relax, and hoped she was at least taking a touch of the girl's stresses away. "Though, I must warn you—this apartment _is _prone to gunshots."

"Gunshots!" Riley proclaimed instinctively, tensing up before collecting herself. Embarrassed, she rolled her eyes at Maya. "You hate me, don't you?"

"Well…hate is a strong word," the blonde teased, leaving just a couple seconds for it to eat at Riley. "I prefer the phrase 'love you to death.'"

With a large grin, Riley embraced her short friend and then let her free. "I love you too, Peaches. To death. Promise we will talk every day?"

"Whatever you want," the girl consented.

"Let's pick a time, and each day we will call at that time. How about at 7PM Texas time zone? Every night, at 7PM we will talk." Riley reiterated.

The two shook hands, sealing the deal. "I'll pick you up at seven, Riles." It was a tradition, after-all, and as with most traditions, some are way too important to let go.

Once coming to terms, the two girls rose from their seats and admired their old hangout, gracious for all of the meaningful memories they had made there. They had said goodbye to the window once before—when it was time to start college—however in this moment it seemed more final—more serious. As it rings true with any good story, in order to reach the next chapters, it is necessary to finish the one that's already started. With that, Riley and Maya linked arms, smiled at each other, and then crawled out through that beautiful bay window for the very last time.

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**A:N: I know this was a shorter chapter, but it's one that was necessary for me to transition into the next part. Thanks for the continued support!**

**-Lauren**


	9. Chapter 9: Unpacking the Past

Chapter Nine: Unpacking the Past

Lucas stepped into the freshly sky-blue painted living room and removed his brown boots, placing them neatly on the shoe rack that Riley had assembled only a week after moving in—his boots were always trekking mud into their home, so she took no time before finding a solution, as a dirty house and a New York City girl certainly do not mix. After grabbing a chocolate chip cookie from the dessert tray on the table, and darting the entire thing into his mouth, he walked over to their white couch, swallowed, and wrapped his hands around his girlfriend's eyes. "Ready for a surprise?" Lucas asked temptingly.

A smiled crept upon her face, definitely always ready for a surprise. "Is that even a question?" The two had lived together for a total of two weeks now, and since first getting their start, Lucas was very accustomed to surprising her—whether it be flowers, a favorite snack, or a rented movie to watch for the night, the young woman was very spoiled by him. She grabbed his rough hands and removed them from her face, still holding them tightly in her own. "You already _know _surprises are my favorite things."

Pulling his phone out of the pocket of his jeans, Lucas opened his photos app and clicked on the picture saved at the bottom, enlarging it full screen. He positioned the picture in front of Riley and waited for her to register the view. In the photo was a dapple-gray colt, barely old enough to be separated from its mother, standing long-legged and lanky in the rustic barn where it had been born. "Do you like it?"

"Lucas!" she snatched the phone from the boy's grasps and zoomed in on the horse. "He's so pretty! Can we go visit him?"

"Well…" Lucas walked around the small couch and took his place next to Riley. Giving a light kiss to her cheek, he propped his legs up on the coffee table and crossed tired arms behind his head. "We won't have to _visit _him, babe. He's ours. We pick him up next week."

Rapidly twisting her head to the side, she was dumbfounded. "Wait," Riley laughed nervously, "he's ours? As in we take care of him? How can we possibly afford a _horse_?" This didn't make any sense. The two were supposed to be saving money as much as possible right now, and were currently sleeping on a mattress set upon a floor shy of a bedframe in order to cut costs. She scratched her head, confused, and then situated her hair down evenly amongst her shoulders.

"Look, I know this move has been hard on you…and you're right, we shouldn't be spending money on extras right now…but I start my assistant job at Dr. Kaff's next week, so we will at least have a little more income, and I just thought it would be nice for you to have some company here while I'm balancing work and classes. We've got all this land, so I figured I should at least put it to good use for you." Reaching out, he encompassed the delicate young woman and drew her into his chiseled chest. "It's a horse all for you, Riley. Fit for a princess."

He smelled like cedar and was as solid as pressurized coal. It was impossible not to be infatuated with this boy. Riley's entire life she had prayed for someone to sweep her off of her feet and to make her feel like she was special—someone that would give their all to her, as she would to them. As she lay upon him, she sighed smitten, feeling so cared for and safe. "You got me a _horse_, Lucas. Who even are you?"

"I'm your happily ever after," he smiled knowingly, taking the girl's chin between his index finger and thumb. Lucas lowered his lips towards her glimmering ones and put every emotion he felt into it. This was his favorite hobby, kissing Riley. She was warm and felt like Christmas morning, a place of comfort and sincerity—where you could still be dazed each time you woke up, but yet still feel the exact same cozy sentiment as all of the years prior. He would have Christmas morning every single day if that were an option. Laying her down tenderly into the couch, his hand found a blanket and covered it over their bodies, continuing on to his _second_favorite hobby. As Lucas admired this beautiful young woman, that for some reason beyond his comprehension had chosen him to be her boyfriend, he couldn't help but think of their first time…he _always _thought of their first time, in every instance when they would reach this point. Senior Prom night was cliché for everyone else, but it wasn't for Riley and Lucas. They'd actually left Prom only thirty minutes in, being unimpressed with the music selection. A hotel room wasn't reserved, no plans were made, no expectations to uphold. This was just a date, as casual as all the rest they'd had. Lucas, after-all, was a gentleman and knew Riley wanted to wait until marriage. However, a couple messy burgers into the night, sitting in Central Park on an isolated bench under a dim lamppost, their kisses deepened, and showed no sign of stopping. Gripping his pressed suit, the girl fell to all temptation and breathlessly asked to be taken to the nearest hotel. He was hesitant at first, but seeing those intoxicating, mesmerizing eyes and recognizing the importance of the request, he obliged. Of course they were very nervous at first, delving into something completely unknown. Though despite the clumsiness, they eventually found footing and rhythm to satiate all that had been building for the three years they'd been together. It was the best night of his life, without a doubt, and each time they reunited, he was able to relive the sacred memory.

Nuzzling into the boy's neck, Riley gave it a light bite and stroked her tan fingers through his already rustled hair. "Eventually, we will have to unpack all of these boxes, you know?" She signaled out towards the evidence stacked in front of their fireplace. "As much as I enjoy these distractions, this house isn't going to organize itself."

"Well then let's get to it, m'lady." Pulling up his previously abandoned boxers, he gave another kiss atop of his girlfriend's chocolate hair and began to sort the container closest to him, though his body was exhausted at this point. Inside it was framed pictures, mostly of their life since middle school—ones of he and Riley that he placed on the mantle, and then ones of he and Farkle as well as Maya and Riley that he set on the shelves beside. Gazing at all of these photos, he could not help but be anything except thankful—for the life he had lived, the people he had met, and the woman he was fortunate enough to come home to each night. The boy turned around and took sight of Riley, still collecting her clothes off of the floor. She was magnificent, and could fill the home better than anything that conceivably remained in those unopened boxes.

Riley dug out her phone between the middle cushions of the couch and then pulled it up to where she could check the hour. It was 6:51PM. "Almost Maya time," she grinned, straightening up the area, setting each pillow to its own designated spot.

Lucas nodded, adoring this girl more than anything, and placed another discovered picture onto the shelf in front of him. "Seven as always, its Maya time." He let a breath escape, and then stuck to his task. "Enjoy, babe."

Running into the bedroom for privacy, the young woman shut the door and pounced onto the mattress, eager to hear from her friend. It had only been twenty-four hours since hearing her favorite voice, but that was obviously twenty-four hours too many. Counting each minute down, she waited until the phone showed seven exactly, and then pressed anxiously upon the top name of her contact list.

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**A/N: Please review, I love to hear all of your thoughts. This is a very slow burn, it will cater to both ships involved. For fun, post the ship you're rooting for in comments. Thanks!**


	10. Chapter 10: Hold Your Horses

Chapter Ten: Hold Your Horses

"A _horse_?" Maya's voice was disbelieving. "Like a 'giddy-up' actual horse?"

Positioning the phone to her opposite ear and using her head to hold it still on her shoulder, Riley stacked a couple of pillows up in the crease between the wall and the mattress and settled in against it. "Yes, Peaches, a real horse! Wait until you see him, he's so adorable. He may very well be the cutest thing I've ever laid eyes upon." She wished she had the picture on her own phone so that she could quickly send it over to Maya and together dote on her new addition. "Lucas said that he got him for me so that I'd have some company out here while he's busy with work and school."

"He got you a _horse_…?"

"YES, Maya, a horse! H-o-r-s-e, _horse_. I really don't know how else to explain this to you." the younger girl was completely confused how her friend was not getting this.

Maya sighed and then mustered up the best "Well that's great, Riles" that she possibly could.

Catching the tone being off immediately, Riley's eyebrow cocked, not understanding why the other girl wasn't nearly as excited as she was by the news. "What is it, Maya? What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, honey, I'm excited to see what he looks like."

"You're lying. I know you better than anyone; you don't think I can tell when you're lying? Now why don't you tell me what you're _really _thinking."? She was stern and not going to let this go.

"Riley, this isn't my business. Come on, can we drop it? Tell me about the rest of your day."

This was getting ridiculous, never had she had to work so hard before just to get her best friend to say what was clearly on her mind. It was almost offensive that the girl was being so stubborn. "Maya Penelope Hart, I swear to Feeny I will hang up this phone right now."

Defeated, Maya obliged. "Okay fine, you win…Look, I know you're excited about it, and I know how much you love horses. But do you even have any idea how to raise one? And how much work he will be? This isn't just some gold fish you feed twice a day."

"Lucas does," she replied instantly. "He can teach me."

"Lucas isn't going to be there, girly. You've already told me how busy he will be, and just yesterday you were saying how overwhelmed you've been feeling with trying to get the house in order—that you didn't have any time at all to even think about starting your book. How is adding a living, breathing, animal into this equation going to help any of that?"

Riley fell silent, taking in the girl's words. It was true, with everything that had been happening recently, she'd had zero time to start her book. Just thinking about it made her panicky—first draft was due in only one year, and not a measly single word had been typed. Not to mention her knowledge about horse-care was close to zero, only ever knowing how pretty they looked.

"Honey, are you still there?" It was hard not to feel guilty; she didn't want to discuss it in the first place. Disappointing Riley was never something Maya would willingly put on her 'to-do' list, and being over a thousand miles away didn't make it feel any less brutal. "Hey, I'm really sorry…Like I said, it's not my business and I'm sure you guys will figure it out. It just caught me off guard is all…" the blonde lingered on the other end of the call, waiting for a response.

"No," Riley spoke up faintheartedly. "You're right…I guess I just got too excited and didn't think it through." Her sadness was obvious as the words were leaving her mouth. "But you're completely right. I need to focus on getting my life together before we add _more _to that equation." Pressing two long fingers against the temple of her head, she respired. Look, I'm going to go, okay? I've need to break the news to Lucas."

"Okay," the older girl responded apprehensively. Everything felt off, as if their brains just weren't in sync that night. Distance sucked. "We're okay, right? I mean you're not upset with me?"

"I'm not upset with you, Maya. I love you, and I appreciate you being honest, I promise. We'll talk more tomorrow, I'm just super drained." Waiting until the other girl agreed and they could say their goodnights, Riley hung up the phone and sat for a couple minutes collecting her thoughts. Realizing how naïve she had been, she mentally kicked herself for getting so attached to something that she'd only known about for an hour. Shoving the comforter off, she got up and exited the undecorated bedroom in search of her boyfriend.

He was easy to find, as it's hard to miss a six-foot-three-inches tall boy standing in the middle of a relatively small living room. Each time she saw him, it stopped her in her steps seeing how handsome he was. She'd always thought he was particularly good looking when they were younger, but as the years passed he only grew into his look more, referring to him often as her own southern James Dean. Lucas was slicing his pocketknife across the top of another box, making a much-needed dent into the mountain that crowded their home. "Sweetie," she removed the distance between them and took hold of his arm, "you don't have to finish all of this tonight. We can start again in the morning?"

He wiped his brow, and set the toaster he'd pulled out back to the spot he had just retrieved it from. "Sorry, I didn't realize you were off of the phone already." Lifting his wrist, he checked the time. "Wow, quicker than normal. Is everything okay?" He was used to his girlfriend spending at least forty-five minutes on the phone with Maya, so taking note that only twenty had passed, he couldn't help but be suspicious.

Riley lowered herself onto the ledge affront the fireplace and patted her hand down so that he'd do the same. "We can't take the horse." She felt a tug at her heart just verbalizing it. "It's just too much right now, and isn't a good idea. Maybe in the future we can get one, but now is just not the right time."

Perplexed, he doubted if this was even Riley next to him. It surely didn't sound like her. "Wait, what? Why isn't this the right time? You've always wanted one, so how is this not a good time for the thing you've always wanted?"

"Lucas, I was just talking to Maya and she brought up good points—we just moved here, and are still settling in together, and honestly, look around," she motioned out towards their surroundings, "we have so much still to do, we can't possibly take on more responsibility right now." The girl could feel his stare. "And besides, I _need_to start my book. I mean I am clueless of how to even write a _novel_; all I've written up until this point have been tiny children's book. But now I have this chance to do more, and that's what I should be focusing on…not a horse. Try to see it from my side—can't you recognize how important this could be for my future?"

There was a shift in the mood of the room, and Lucas wasn't quite positive how they'd arrived here in only an hour's time. "Babe, forgive me here for being slow, but I don't understand how just a little bit ago you could be over the moon about this, and then have a twenty minute conversation with Maya, and suddenly everything has changed…Why does she care, anyway, she wouldn't be the one taking care of it."

"Neither would _you_," she snapped, though not intending to. "First of all, you'll be gone all of the time, so it would essentially be me here—unpacking, redecorating, cooking, cleaning, doing all of the laundry, trying to figure out how to do my _own _job amongst all of that, and now tending to this animal. It's insane, Lucas." Uncomfortable and aggravated, she stood and stepped away from the young man._"_And secondly, don't do that, don't throw Maya into this like she's the bad guy. She only has my best interest at heart, and I'm glad she actually said something before we followed through with it."

Arguing was not something the pair did often; he couldn't even remember the last one they had, it had been so long. It was not an enjoyable feeling, by any means of the word, and he wanted only for this to pass as quickly as possible. "I'm sorry…" Remaining seated, he propped his head upon a stiff hand held up by a knee. "I'm sorry for mentioning Maya…and I'm sorry for the surprise…but I have your best interest at heart too, you know? I'd never do anything to intentionally upset you. I just wanted to make you happy, Riley." His eyes were glazed over. They'd only lived together for two weeks, and here he was already messing everything up.

She could hear how regretful the boy sounded, and just as rapidly all aggravation faded away. Lucas didn't have a bad bone in his body, this kind man who just wanted to give her the world. How could she ever fault him for being generous? How could she be upset by something that she herself had been thrilled for in the beginning of the evening? Hating herself for taking her own stress out on him, Riley returned by his side and turned his cheek, matching their eyes. "You don't need to apologize. I know you meant well, and really it was the sweetest thing you could do for me…" She placed a kiss just to the right corner of his lips. Still butterflies. "But this was a big decision, and maybe in the future these kinds of decisions we could discuss _together _beforehand?"

"Are you sure you still want a future with me?" He was nervous and felt like he had let Riley down, for not ever considering what the implications of his choice would be…for not once realizing the extra burden it would bring this perfect person that he adored.

"Lucas, don't be silly," she smiled, interlocking their fingers, "the _only _future I want is with you."

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**A/N: Keep reviewing, I love to read them! I know there are a lot of people on both sides of the "ship" but I honestly think that by the end of this, everyone will be satisfied. So be patient with me, I appreciate all of you that devote your time to actually reading anything I put out into the world. I'll try and do my best by ALL of you! **

**-Lauren**


	11. Chapter 11: Say Anything

Chapter Eleven: Say Anything

Another week had passed, and the pair had finally gotten most of the small house organized. There was still no bedframe, but at least the windows had curtains hung over them, and picture frames had been mounted onto the walls. Day by day, they were making it their own. Not to mention, Riley had grown fond of waking up to a Lucas-filled home, as living together had brought a new phase into the timeworn relationship.

_Breakfast_. The girl opened her eyes and caught sight of the full spread beside her—Over-easy eggs, bacon crisped to perfection, sided with avocado toast. Lucas had surprised her with breakfast in bed, and Riley almost had to pinch herself at the sight. "What is all this?" she asked, grabbing a slice of the bread and taking a bite.

"Well, today is the first day that I'll be at Dr. Kaff's, so I just wanted to leave you something to remember me by." Lucas leaned over, kissing the crown of her wavy hair while buttoning his checkered shirt and tucking it into his slacks. "Mmm, your hair smells so good. Makes me want to curl right up next to it. "

Riley scooted the breakfast tray further to the side of the mattress, and looked up at the boy temptingly. "Curl away, my prince."

On the brink of giving in, Lucas reluctantly shook his head and expelled all frustration through his lungs. "Ahhh, babe, don't do this to me. I can't be late on my first day…" His mouth lifted in a mischievous grin. "But…if I were to come home and find you in this exact spot, I wouldn't be disappointed."

"Ask and you shall receive," Riley toyed, squinching her nose up in a way that Lucas had always found irresistible. She latched onto the dangling necktie in front of her and tugged it down, locking their lips to bid farewell. "You're going to do great, I know you will…and then when you're finished doing those great things, come find me—I'll be here." Reaching over to snag a piece of the bacon, she crunched down on it with her teeth in the limited space between their faces, seeing a noticeable shiver run through his body. He was all too easy to play with, and Riley had recently discovered that she quite enjoyed delving into the flirtatious side of herself.

Lucas checked his watch, making damn sure that there was absolutely zero time to crawl into bed right next to his girlfriend. There wasn't. He had to go, as he'd really wanted to make a good impression on his boss. The house was a reminder each day of everything he still needed to fill it with, all of the things Riley should have. He had set his focus on making this a place the girl would enjoy waking up inside each morning, and in order to do that he needed to go to work. After taking in the smell of her hair one last time, he slipped on his black dress shoes and carried on through the door.

Pulling the covers up, the young woman finished off her breakfast in bed. She clicked on the TV and browsed through all of the recently added shows. The house was chilly, and she was dressed only in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of panties, so the idea of escaping the blanket seemed absolutely dreadful. It took a whole hour and two episodes for Riley to gather her strength and brave the cold hardwood floor, though it was only so that she could scurry as quickly as possible to the heat of a shower. Grabbing a towel, she patted her body down and slipped into a floral sundress.

This was the first day since moving that she'd be home completely alone, and Riley had scheduled this as the day when she'd begin her novel. There was no more unpacking to be done, no more distractions by Lucas, no more making excuses…today was the day. A fresh glass of chocolate milk sat on the table beside her laptop. Her sights were set on the blank screen in front. It was the most frightening and overwhelming view she'd ever witnessed. She had utterly nothing to say, no inspiration whatsoever to even press down on a letter and form a word. How had she gotten herself into this?

Ready to branch out and expand her horizons, Riley had pitched to her publisher the idea of writing a full-length novel, as they'd liked her shorter stories up until that point. She wanted to grow, and to move past the box she was comfortable in. It was an easy sell, and they'd offered her a substantial advance on the spot at the beginning of summer, having every confidence in her abilities. But now in the reality of it, she questioned what she had even been thinking? Any thought of how she should begin just seemed bizarre, and there was certainly no way she'd ever be able to build an entire world from scratch. Her nervous fingers tore off a section from the paper towel roll on the table and unconsciously started ripping away. Taking note of her surroundings, Riley couldn't believe how quiet it was. Growing up in New York, she had gotten accustomed to noise—whether it be from the street, from the neighbors, or from her own family, there was always at least _some _noise filling her ears. But _here_, in the middle of four acres, far from the city, there was nothing to be heard…and that was oddly much louder than any taxi horn ever was. Ripping apart the last shred in her hands, Riley looked at the pile of mangled paper towel and slumped down in her chair. Writing was always her favorite hobby, and now it felt like her steepest mountain to climb.

Grabbing her glass, she walked out to the front porch and lowered herself onto one of the couples' rocking chairs. It really was beautiful, all of the land they lived on. She could have never imagined living in a place like this, one of such openness and serenity. The young woman had never even had a yard before, and now here she was gazing out upon a field with the sun rising over a skyline of trees. However, as gorgeous a site as it was, it still didn't feel like home. She ached for home—for familiar. It was as if no matter how much stuff they added to their house, how much she tried to decorate it, it was still light-years away from everything she'd ever known. Lucas was the only thing that made her feel grounded in the unfamiliar territory, and now on this day without him, Riley had never felt more lost.

Needing just a taste of New York, she rocked back and forth in the chair, tapping away at her phone. "Hey…are you busy?"

"No, I'm okay to talk. What's up, Riles?" Maya's voice was groggy; obvious she was woken up from her slumber. It was 9AM in Texas; meaning that it was an hour later in New York, and Riley had never known her best friend to sleep in so late on a weekday—aside from the night she'd stayed over at Farkle's.

Riley wavered, not wanting to be a burden. "I didn't mean to wake you up, Maya, you can just call me back later. I know I'm calling a lot earlier than our usual seven o'clock."

"No, you're fine. I promise," There was rustling on the other end of the call and what sounded to be a door closing. "Just let me put my robe on and fix a cup of coffee…then I'm all yours."

Taking a sip of rich chocolate milk, the brunette wiped her mouth and waited for the signal from the other girl that it was time to talk. A few minutes passed before Maya announced that she was wormed into the couch and ready to listen. "Basically I'm having trouble with my book…I just have no clue how to start this thing. It's like the more I think about it, the harder it seems, and so I'm currently stuck just staring at the computer like an idealess idiot."

"Honey, you have an imagination bigger than anyone I've ever known. If there was ever a person to write an intriguing story, it would certainly be you."

"But how do I start? How do I even begin whenever I haven't the faintest idea of what it is I even want to do with it?" She was rocking faster now, anxious. The bottom of the chair was making a thump each time it made contact with the porch, at least giving the girl some security of noise. "I had this whole idea in my head, this entire outline, and now I can barely remember what this story was supposed to be about, let alone the opening sentence."

There was a tiny laugh on the speaker. The kind Maya would unwillingly let escape when she was entertained by her friend's innocent theatrics. "Listen to me…do you know what the greatest part of being an artist or a writer is?"

Curious, Riley stilled her position and set her drink down on the small table to her right. "No, what?"

"The absolute _best _part is that nothing is final, Riley. I start a painting, and then I paint over that same spot twenty times until I figure out what I want to do. Almost every single time that I start one, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I put down whatever I'm feeling in that moment and make the first stroke, then after that I let the painting take a mind of its own." There was a pause as Maya brought her mug to the sink and turned on the faucet. "It's the same with you," she continued. "As an author, you don't have to have it all figured out before you start. You just have to _start_. _Anywhere_. Not necessarily from the beginning, not from the end, not from the middle—just start with whatever you want, and then let the story tell itself. Type what you feel, and then if you don't like that, rewrite it. Change it. Nothing is final; you can literally rework the thing as many times as you want. So stop putting so much fucking pressure on the first sentence. There's always a do-over."

Riley exhaled, arranging her hair behind her ears. "So I just need to stop being afraid? Just write any and everything that comes to mind, and hope that by the end of that I can salvage something worth reading?"

"Yes, honey, and it will be _so_worth reading. I'll be the first one in line to buy the book. I've known you my whole life and you always figure it out, so just trust yourself."

Walking back into her home, the younger girl took her place back in front of that blank screen, keeping her phone secured closely to her ear. "Thank you, Maya. I'm sorry to call you so early, but I really needed you to bring me back to Earth. I hope I didn't throw off your day too badly, we can skip tonight's call if that's easier and just pick back up tomorrow."

"Don't apologize, you can call me whenever…and it kind of worked out anyway, I sort of made plans for tonight, so it was better for me to talk this morning too."

"Oh?" Riley asked curiously. "Plans? A date, perhaps?"

The blonde chuckled, suddenly ready to end the call. "Another time, Riles, another time. Let me know how your writing goes?"

"I will," the girl agreed before putting her phone away until the next time. Rehashing her friend's advice, there was a sense of safety that any keystroke she was to make was not final, and could just as easily be deleted and rewritten. Testing out the theory, she typed out the word 'Rileytown' and then quickly backspaced, with a huge smile creeping upon her face. The keyboard didn't seem so scary anymore—it was her own to dominate. Riley sat boldly, remembering and piecing together the storyline that she had pitched only a few months prior to her publishers. Letting caution fly out the window, she straightened up her posture and typed the opening line to her novel.


	12. Chapter 12: Ignoring the Call

"Are you almost ready, babe? We really need to be going," Lucas was pacing the living room back and forth, never one to be late. They were supposed to leave ten minutes ago, but his girlfriend had been locked in their bedroom for the last twenty. "If this is about shoes, Riley, any pair you pick will look amazing."

The lock clicked, as the door swung open. The young woman marched out distraught. "It's 7:20, Lucas. 7:20! She's never missed one of our phone calls before, something is wrong, I just know it." Hitting redial, she lifted the phone to her ear and listened as it rang and rang, painfully unanswered. "I just don't know what to do…should I call Farkle to see if he's heard from her?"

"Deep breaths,' the boy encouraged calmingly. "I'm sure everything is fine. She probably just got busy. That happens, you know—getting busy…losing track of time. So don't overthink it, she will call back when she can." He grabbed the keys to his truck from the hook and slid them into the pocket of his gray slacks. "But we _really _need to leave, our reservation is at eight and if we don't make it in time then they'll give our table away." Smoothing down his unsually slicked hair and patting the breast his sports coat, he assured everything was in place and walked over towards Riley. His forehead was glistening, and his hands were clammy, as he needed this night to go perfectly, however so far it was off to a rocky start.

Avoiding his request, she shook her head feeling frustrated. _How could he not be worried? _Maya was his friend too, after all. "Lucas, this isn't like her. She _always _answers when I call. I'm telling you, I have a bad feeling and quite honestly I don't have the least care about our reservation when there's even the slightest possibility of her not being okay." Her voice broke, as her mind spiraled down into every different scenario that could explain the situation. Barefooted, she stepped towards their kitchen and laid her weight into one of the chairs at the table, with her phone positioned directly in line of sight.

Lucas crept down into the empty chair adjacent, checking the time—7:28 now. The restaurant was a twenty five minute drive into downtown, meaning if they had any chance of making dinner then the two needed to leave within the next seven minute period, assuming traffic would even be on their side. Pinching hard on the bridge of his nose, he was trying his best to remain patient. "Look…I promise she's okay," he encompassed the girl's clenched hands, "why don't you just keep your phone out on the drive and wait for her to call back while we head to the restaurant? Staying here and waiting won't solve anything babe, so we can at least not jump to conclusions and carry on according to our plans."

"How can you even think about food right now?" She was mystified; practically appalled that he was disregarding everything she had been trying to say. "Do you not understand that this could be serious? Lucas, there is zero part of me that desires to slip on my heels knowing that she could be hurt, let alone wants to drive away to some fancy restaurant and pretend as though everything is just dandy while we sip wine and feed each desserts. What's wrong with you?"

It struck a nerve. For the boy's entire adolescent he had worked so arduously to control his temper and stay balanced. But for even longer than that, he realized his voice had gone unnoticed…his opinions seemingly unimportant, and his value, for some reason, always ranking as in Riley's standings as 'not valuable enough.' "What's wrong with _me?" _He released his grasp from her delicate fingers and dropped tight fists onto the tabletop, strong arms resonating with a minor pound. The pound was nothing compared to the intensity of his words. "What's wrong with me? Riley, it's our seven-year anniversary and I can't even take my girlfriend out to dinner without her being so caught up in the life of her best friend. _Seven years_." Tears were welling up in his eyes now, feeling vulnerable, but needing a release. "For seven years I have taken a back seat, played second fiddle, while doing everything I could to make you happy. I've exhausted each bone in my body just to try and make you smile each day. But still, it's not good enough...It will _never _be good enough for you."

Riley watched him carefully, uncomfortable. There was only one other time she'd seen her boyfriend cry, and that was four years ago when his Pappy Joe had passed. This robust statue of a man, always sturdy and unruffled, now seemed so fragile and defenseless. "Not enough?" she broke the silence. "Lucas, how could you ever think you're not enough for me? You're the most amazing man I've ever met," she professed genuinely.

"Then why don't you ever come to me? You never just come to me. Any time you have a problem, you go to Maya. Any time you are excited about something, you go to Maya. When you're lonely and just need someone to talk to, you call Maya. I planned this whole special night for us, and still here you are, waiting on Maya…" He sighed, opening the side of his jacket and removing an unopened ring-box. Placing it on the center of the table, it was now the focus of both their sets of eyes. "You know, I never thought you'd agree to move here with me…I figured it was a one in a million chance when I asked. But you said yes. You said that you were ready to go all-in with me and start our life together."

"And I am," Riley interrupted. "Lucas, I left everything I've ever known just to be with you. I love you, and moved across the entire country so that we could take on this new chapter _together._"

"No…you didn't." His voice was low, barely audible. "You moved here _physically_, but mentally you are still in New York. For seven years, I wanted to be the one that you could lean on, and trust to take care of you. I wanted to be your knight in shining armor, to sweep you off of your feet and show you what fairytale love was supposed to feel like. I thought coming here, just us, we'd have that opportunity. That away from it all, you'd finally let me into your world and create a new one with me." Overcome, he shifted his gaze up from the ring-box and locked teary eyes with the glazed ones across from him. "But you've still got one foot standing firmly in New York. We will _never_be able to move forward so long as it stays there. All I'm asking for is a chance, Riley—a chance to prove to you that you can trust me…a chance to prove to you that I can be the person to shoulder your problems, or be excited with you when something great happens, or talk to you when you just need to hear a voice. I _want_to be that. Why won't you let me be that?"

Riley had no words. Hearing him openly express such neglect shattered something precious inside. She had absolutely never intended to make him hurt, or to make him feel like he wasn't the single most important person in her life. She had been careless—It's easy to be wrapped up in something familiar, but to surround oneself in the unknown and expect old habits to fit perfectly into a new routine was thoughtless. "Lucas…" she tried to gather her thoughts, and was piecing them together cautiously. "I didn't know you felt this way…I promise you that I didn't mean to ever make you question where you stand in my life." Again the Austin atmosphere seemed blatantly quiet and stagnant. Suffocating almost, and any ambient noise would be a godsend at this point. But here they were, just the two of them, four acres from any other commotion. "I want-"

The phone rang, breaking her mid-sentence. It was 7:41 now, and flashing upon the screen was Maya's picture. Both of them stared at each other, awkward and self-conscious. "Answer it," Lucas spoke up. "Just answer it." He grabbed the ring-box from the table and walked towards the rack by the front door to return his dress shoes. There was no way of making it to dinner now, and seven years be damned, he'd have to once again wait for the love of his life to finish what they'd started.

Watching Lucas exit the room, Riley yearned desperately to follow him—she knew he needed that; he needed her to be on his side, tonight of all nights. But reluctantly she bowed her head and answered the ring. "Maya?" Riley questioned, undeniably relieved to be getting the call she'd been hoping for. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Riles, I'm so sorry!" Maya was urgent and the words poured out almost faster than could be processed. "There was this new bar opening tonight that someone asked me to join them at and I just completely lost track of time! When I just checked my phone and saw it was so late past seven, I came outside to call you immediately. I hate myself for leaving you hanging, please forgive me?"

The girl's tone seemed authentically apologetic, and Riley could tell she had made an honest mistake…but here she had been stressing for the last forty minutes, thinking the worst—putting off her own anniversary date, blowing off Lucas's plans, hurting this man she loved, simply because Maya didn't answer her phone on time. It was infuriating and eye opening simultaneously. "Hey, Maya?"

"Yeah, honey?"

"I'll have to call you back another time. You and I, we're going to have to have a talk."

Confused, Maya didn't respond right away. She lingered a few beats, and then relented. "Okay, whenever you want to talk, I promise I'll be here. I won't ever miss another call." It was rough, the second bumpy conversation they'd had since being in different cities. Was this going to be a trend? The girls bid their goodbyes and then returned to their own separate realities.

Riley found Lucas in the closet as he was undressing, in the process of slipping on his pajama pants. He was this beautiful, lion-heart of a man, and he was all hers. She closed the distance before he could even notice her presence, and tugged at his drawstrings to fasten them securely around his waist. Lifting to her tippy toes, she asked for truce with a delicate kiss and then nestled her face securely into the young man's bare chest. "Let's order in. We can binge eat and fall deeply into the pit of a good rom-com on Netflix?"

Unable to hide a smile, he was happy to do anything at all with the girl…solely grateful to have her undivided attention. Taking her chin, he kissed Riley again and nodded. "Thank you," he breathed, "Happy seven years."

Riley led Lucas to the mattress and tugged him down next to her, with her on the left side of the bed as always, and him on the right. It was the coziest place she could ever imagine. She pulled out her phone, seeing a new text notification from Maya, and tapped on the "ignore" option before opening the food delivery app. Together they chose options from three different restaurants, to have a full selection of all of their favorite foods. Turning on the television, they sifted through movie after movie until deciding on one that was long enough to last through their meal, but short enough to leave them plenty of time for the post credits scene—Obviously, they'd still had a lot of making up to do.

* * *

**A/N: Thankful for everyone that is still out there in the world, reading this story. If it's bored you to tears, I apologize haha. It's funny, when I started this story I had a completely different vision for it, but then the characters kind of took a mind of their own. Today, while at the gym, it randomly occurred to me how I wanted it to end-An ending far from what I'd first envisioned. Now that it has, it's the only ending I can see fit. So hang tight, there's more chapters to come. I just hope no one leaves this disappointed, or feeling like they wasted their time. I write here to warm myself up for the real novel I'm currently working on, to carve away at my own voice. So even if the ending doesn't turn out to be what you'd wished for, just know it's meant a lot to me that anyone would even care to read this. I love all reviews, good or bad, as they all help me to grow. So please review, and please hang tight with me! **

**-Lauren**


	13. Chapter 13: Two on the Line

Chapter Thirteen: Two on the Line

"Wait, let me get this straight…" Maya dropped her purse down on the counter, not giving the slightest care that its contents had spilled out. "I'm late to just one of our phone calls and suddenly we aren't allowed to talk anymore? What the fuck?" She cringed, not intending to cuss at Riley, however she was currently slave to her own mouth's control.

"Of course we can still _talk_, Maya, I didn't say we couldn't talk anymore. It's just that I can tell that I really hurt Lucas, and that I need to do a better job of making him feel appreciated. So maybe you and I just have to tone it down a little bit?"

The blonde couldn't believe her own ears. This was not her Riley—Riley was the one that suggested they even call every day in the first place, and now here she was asking for…_what _exactly? Space? They already had two thousand miles of space between them, how much more could possibly be needed? To say Maya was pissed would be an understatement. To say she was hurt would be even more of one. "I don't get it, Riles. We have always been there for each other, always been the one person we could each count on. Now you live so far away, and the _only _way we have of still staying close—of still staying relevant in each other's lives, you want to 'tone down'?"

"I _don't _want to," the younger girl admitted instantly, "but I need to. For Lucas...this is important to him, so I need to try."

"Well what about what I need? I _need _you to stay in my life; I _need _you to still be there for me. You're one of the few people that's ever truly given a shit about me or what happens to me, so how can I accept this?" She took a breath and waited for a response. "I mean doesn't my opinion count somewhere in here too?" Her eyes caught sight of the empty bay window across her apartment, looking like nothing more than a slap in the face in that moment. How many times had the girls sat in that very spot promising to always remain close and to always have each other's backs? Words that she had taken very seriously, and ones that she had _thought _her best friend had taken seriously as well.

Riley started to speak up and then stopped. She was lost as to what she should say…lost on what was even the right thing to do anymore. The girl had devoted all of her years to doing the right thing, and now 'right' seemed ambiguous and muddy. "I just don't know what to do, Maya…" More silence. It was without a doubt the worst phone call they'd ever had. "I try and make Lucas happy, and I hurt you. I try and make you happy, and I hurt him. If you can tell me how to fix this, or some magical solution to keep everyone happy, then by all means do it. I care about you both so much, and I've been racking my brain on the best way to handle this, I literally have a migraine. Everything just ends with me feeling guilty and like I'm letting one of you down."

Hating herself—she was hating herself for missing that call. If she'd just stayed home last night and not gone out, she'd have seen the call right at seven and Riley wouldn't have gotten into that stupid argument with Lucas, she wouldn't be having to make any of these decisions, and everyone could have just carried on exactly the same. Not that the situation had been perfect to begin with, as Maya still greatly missed living with Riley, but at least it was _something. _Begrudgingly, the blonde stepped towards that painful bay window and sat down, hoping that maybe there was still some magic left in it. "Honey?"

"Yeah?" Riley questioned.

"What do _you _want? Forget me. Forget Lucas. What do you want?" Inside, her tired mind kept repeating the phrase 'to go back home', thinking that maybe if she thought it hard enough, the other girl would say it back to her. If this were where she'd known it would have ended up all those months ago, she would have never encouraged Riley to move, never have supported it, not one bit. It wasn't fair. It was excruciating enough to step aside the first time, and now she'd have to do it again?

Riley closed her brown eyes, and ran her fingers through her hair. Everything was twisting out beyond her control within the past twenty-four hours and now she was faced with an ugly fork in the road—except there was no correct road to take. Both had huge 'caution' signs plastered among their separate entrances, but a 'dead end' on one would have been much more helpful given the current situation. "He's going to propose, Maya." The brunette blurted it out, unsure of how she even felt about that sentence herself. "Last night at dinner he was planning to propose. Then everything turned into a downright disaster, and I don't even know where we stand right now."

"Oh…" Maya sank down into the seat as her body numbed. She replayed the girl's words, making sure she'd registered them accurately. She didn't know why it was so surprising to her, considering Riley and Lucas had been together for so many years, nonetheless the news hit like an earthquake. "…I see." With that, so rapidly, it was over—a lost cause. Boyfriends don't come before best friends, but _husbands _do. And that's the way it should be. Two people that make those sacred vows to one another _should _be each other's first priority. Once again, Maya accepted that it was time to let Riley go—further now, in a way that was different than the time before. She took one more second to grip on to the tiny hope she'd still held in her heart, and then she let it fade out through every pore. "I'm sorry…" she breathed. "I'm sorry for making this so hard on you; I know it's not easy on you either. So don't feel guilty anymore, okay? I'll be just fine."

Riley ached. Maya was a book that she'd memorized by now, so it was no secret that the girl was only saying whatever she could to make it easier on her, despite her own brokenness. Her chest was tight, but not as tight as the hold she had on that phone. She wished they could be face-to-face, what a terrible conversation this was for a call. This was one where she'd want to be there to hold the other girl, and love her, and take away any pain she'd caused. How was this all happening? How could life change so drastically in a day? "Don't be sorry. I'm the one that's sorry," she hesitated, fumbling over anything that could fill the giant void and somehow undo it all. "I still want to be here for you, Maya. I still want to be the person that has your back. That's not going to change."

"I know," Maya said, though she didn't really know that at all. She heard another voice faintly in the background of the call, realizing Lucas had just gotten home. Not wanting to cause any more damage between the couple, her main focus now was to put her beautiful friend at ease and then send her back safely into her real life. "We'll be okay, Riley, we adapted when you moved, so now we'll just have to adapt again. Go and be happy, honey, that's the part that matters most to me—you being happy."

After recognizing Lucas's usual greeting upon his arrival, she was filled with nerves and relocated from the bedroom into the master bath, dropping down onto the cold hard floor and leaning solidly against the door. She wasn't ready for this phone call to end, understanding very clearly that everything would be changed once it did. This was a part of growing up that had never been foreseen, and Riley wanted more than anything again to go back to a simpler time in high school, before everything had gotten so damn complicated. "I love you, Maya," a whisper was all she could manage, "Please don't doubt that."

"I love you too, Riles. I promise you that I'll always be here for you in whatever way you need me."

Riley took small comfort that maybe she hadn't lost the girl entirely. "If I call you next week, will you answer?"

Laying a heavy head onto the pillow beside, Maya soaked up her favorite voice. She knew she'd be hearing it much less after tonight and needed to burn it into her memory as best she could, to pass the gaps in between its appearance. "As soon as I hear that first ring, I'll answer…Now get some rest, you need it—stop beating yourself up and let yourself off of the hook. You're doing the _right _thing."

"Goodnight, Maya…"

"Goodnight." Picking herself up, she walked down the small hallway that led to her bedroom, leaving her phone behind in the same place where she'd left her hope. Maya turned off the lights and buried herself beneath the covers of her bed. It was still fairly early, but this day had gone on for too long already, and she was eager for it to be over. At least in the morning her focus could be thrown into her gallery remodel, and distraction would be easy to find…but as for tonight Maya only wanted to find her eyelids, and that's exactly what she did.

* * *

**A/N: Once again, I thank each of you so much for your thoughts! I'll never stop thanking you guys for that. I'm foreseeing about four or five chapters more to come in this, if all goes according to what I have in mind. Hope you stick around!**

**-Lauren**


	14. Chapter 14: Blind Brushstrokes

Chapter Fourteen: Blind Brushstrokes

A month passed by slowly after the girls had agreed to talk less frequently, totaling two months of being in Austin. For weeks one and two, they'd made a call every five days, but now in these last two weeks they'd had zero communication at all, and Riley often found herself going back to read through old text messages they had shared. She was missing her friend even more than normal on this day, and being stuck in the house all alone was a constant reminder of everything the young woman had left behind. Riley craved familiarity—her family, her friends, _Maya. _Things had been going exceptionally well with Lucas lately, the pair had been growing closer than she ever thought imaginable after being in a relationship for seven years, but as it turns out there's still a lot to learn about someone once you live together…a whole new exciting world to discover. The only problem was that Lucas left before the sun rose to go to work, attended classes from lunch until evening, and then finished off his routine by returning back to the Vet's office to help clean up and shut down. He didn't make it back home until well after the sun was already setting. So though the time they were able to spend together was cherished, it was also very limited.

Currently half past five o'clock, Riley walked outside in time to see the sky change from the blue of day into the purples, pinks, and oranges of twilight. It really was beautiful there, and watching the sky transform was her favorite part of each day, however aside from that there really wasn't much else to do. Their land stretched out with numerous pine trees creating a barrier between her and civilization—as the couple only could afford one vehicle, it felt like she was stranded on an island. Many days she had contemplated phoning for cabs to take her back and forth into Downtown Austin. At the very least she could find a Starbucks to lounge in and write. However she knew if she were to make that a habit, costs would add up very quickly…so she didn't.

Amazed by the gorgeous view, Riley couldn't help but think that it would be a perfect portrait for Maya to paint, knowing her friend would more than do it justice. She reached into her back pocket instinctively and pulled out her phone wanting describe it to the girl, but then halted before making the call. The last couple of calls they'd had were awkward—forced. Perhaps that's why it had been two weeks since pursuing another. Neither girl really knew what to say, or how to tiptoe around the painfully obvious elephant in the room. They'd fallen so out of sync and were a far cry from the two girls that grew up getting lost in time when they'd talk for hours about everything important as well as nothing significant…She wanted that back.

Riley set nerves aside and lowered her lanky body onto the top step of the porch, lifting the phone up to her ear. Only one ring echoed against it before she heard the lines connect. "Maya...is this a good time?"

"Of course, Riles," the blonde was fiddling keys amongst her free hand, as she attempted to lock up the gallery. "_Any _time is a good time. What's up?"

"It's just something completely random, I mean if you're busy and can't really talk right now, it's no big deal," she promised. She didn't mean it though, as it felt so good to hear Maya's voice and who even know how long it would be before they'd call again. "You probably have a lot going on, it was stupid of me just to call and expect you to be available…I'm sorry, seriously we can just redo this again later."

Maya let out a tiny laugh at her neurotic friend, amused by how the girl's brain never failed to overthink every single thing. "RILEY. I assure you that I desire nothing more in all of Mayaville than to talk to you right now. I'm not too busy, this isn't a bad time, zombies aren't taking over New York, and Godzilla isn't rampaging the city. All is good on this end…so just _talk._"

Relieved, the younger girl nodded, as if someone would actually be able to see it. "I thought of you just now," second-guessing her word choice, she corrected, "I don't mean to imply that I don't normally think of you, I think of you every day. I just meant that I saw something that I really wanted to tell you about—something that I know only you could appreciate as much as I do."

"Oh?" Maya expressed curiously. "Well what is it?"

"It's a sunset, Peaches, by far the most stunning one I've witnessed since we moved here. There are so many different colors, all contrasting each other, but flowing together at the same time. When I saw it, it reminded me of that painting you did—the one that you submitted for your senior project. Do you remember that one?" Riley stretched her legs out, crossing feet and leaning against the wooden post behind her.

Sifting through all of the jumbled memories of the paintings she'd done in high school, the artist finally landed on the one. However, she was baffled by how it could even remotely relate to a sunset. "Um…Widow's Quilt?"

"Yes!" Riley surged, happy that for the first time in a long time they seemed to be on the same page. "Okay, so I was with you when you were finishing that one, we were in your bedroom and I was laying on your bed, watching you at your easel. But when I saw what was on the canvas, I was confused—confused because you'd told me you were painting about a widow, though the woman in the picture had smile on her face…she looked _happy_. I didn't understand."

Smiling, Maya recalled the night vividly. She had informed Riley earlier that day that she needed to be alone so she could focus on finishing her project, and naturally Riley assumed that 'alone' meant no one else except for them. So she sat the entire night, alternating her attention back and forth between small brushstrokes and Riley's never-ending line of questions. As frustrating as it was to be distracted, there was still no other way Maya would have preferred it. "Well it wasn't about what she'd lost, it was about what she had."

"I know! You explained to me that the quilt she was swaddling herself with was one that had been made up of her late husband's clothes. It didn't match, all of the colors seemed to clash, but looking at it as a whole, it was beautiful—it was beautiful because it was exactly who her husband was, each square encompassing a single memory being sewn together to display the man's entire life. And with just that quilt, the widow was comforted. In her darkest period, she was able to find peace, even if it was just for a fleeting moment." Riley gazed out in front of her, feeling wholly swaddled by the sky. The wooden steps she sat upon would, in any other circumstance, be uncomfortable. Though with the view affront, and the phone to her ear, she only felt cozy.

Getting farther away from her gallery, Maya was heading back to her apartment, paying little attention to the busy streets surrounding the walk. She was still trying to relate the painting to the sunset, wondering what kind of intriguing explanation the other girl could have for this. "That's right…but what does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm like the widow, Maya," Riley respired. "I've been kind of down, and feeling lonely lately, and I miss you a ton." It was the truth; life didn't seem complete without her best friend. She'd gotten so used to having those phone calls to look forward to at every 7PM, and now being without them gave little to anticipate apart from when Lucas would arrive. "I mean my life has been turned upside down…I've lost so much. But tonight, I came outside and looked up—I saw the colors all clash together to form something unbelievably beautiful, and could only think of it as being something you'd love to paint. I saw you in the entire sky…and standing underneath that sky, just as the widow did in her quilt, I felt comforted."

"Wow…" the blonde was speechless. Partly because it was very unsettling for hear her delicate friend admit that she had been so sad, and partly because that same girl had just made her heart pound firmly against her chest as she listened to the insightful interpretation. "Can you describe it to me, Riles? Everything you see right now, can you describe it in full detail, big and small?"

Riley peered around, taking account of every aspect in her atmosphere. The colors were beginning to transform as it was nearing dusk, but there was still enough remaining to take on the task. "Okay, tell me when you're ready."

Reaching her front door, she walked inside, "I'm ready." Discarding all belongings onto the table, she took her place upon the stool in front of the easel that she'd recently relocated into Riley's former room—after all, she'd needed her own widow's quilt as well. Listening vigilantly, Maya relinquished all power over her brush. She let her hand flow according solely to Riley's description, as this was Riley's vision, and it was the only one Maya wanted to shine through on that picture.

For over an hour, the two girls sat going over all of the colors above, the textures within, the trees below, and the house behind. It had gotten dark long ago, but Riley was still able to retain the scene well, as it had been something worth holding close—just as her friendship with Maya was. Once finishing their endeavor, Riley went back inside of her home. She had been bitten by many mosquitos (another downside of Texas) and scratched her arms the entire trek to the medicine cabinet. After rubbing calamine lotion on each raised bite, she set back towards the kitchen to heat up dinner before Lucas arrived. As the young woman pre-heated the oven and prepared a pot of tea to boil, she couldn't get that phone call out of her head. It had been perfect. It had been so needed. Conversation flowed so easily, just like it had before everything fell apart. She didn't want to go another two weeks without it. She didn't want to go even _one _week without it. Maya was a vital part of what made her happy; thereby this arrangement they'd constructed was just not going to work.

Like clockwork, Lucas entered forty minutes later just as the timer on the oven began to beep. Riley silenced it, and slipped on an oven mitt to remove the lasagna. As she placed it gently on the stovetop, she felt two strong arms wrap around her slender waist and was graced with a tender kiss to the cheek. "That smells delicious," he whispered into her ear. "I'm starved."

"Well then starve no more, my dear." She twisted her body around to hug him tightly before fixing plates and joining the boy at the kitchen table. "How was your day?"

Mid-bite, Lucas chewed and then swallowed. "It was really good," he said, already dipping his fork down for the next. A busy schedule made it difficult to keep up with meals, so it wasn't uncommon for him to come home on an empty stomach, ready to devour anything at all that Riley presented onto a plate. "I aced that test in Immunology and Anesthetics that I had been worried about, so that pretty much made the rest of the day seem like cake. Thank you for going over those flashcards with me so many times, I know that had to be really annoying."

"It wasn't annoying at all, I actually enjoyed doing that. Plus I learned a lot...how terrible is it that one in one thousand cats die under anesthesia each year? Lucas, you have to promise me that when you're a vet, zero cats will die under anesthesia with you!" Riley shivered at the idea, sympathetic for all of those cats that had never returned to their families.

"I'll do my best, I promise." He reached across the table, and squeezed the girl's hand, knowing exactly how tenderhearted she was. It was something the couple had in common, a love of all living things, no matter how small that thing may be. He was beyond proud to share his life with a person that valued the preciousness of animals just as he always did. "How about you? How was your day?"

She stared down at the meal, unsure of how much of the day she should recount—how much she could disclose about what she'd been feeling without this turning into an argument. Timidly situating the dirtied fork to the right of her plate, Riley realized that lying was not something she ever wanted to do; and that if her and Lucas were to have a strong relationship, she'd need to be honest on all occasions, even if that meant saying something he wouldn't want to hear. "My day was great, actually—I talked to Maya all afternoon, and things felt normal again; there was no awkwardness or long silences, it was just us being us_. _We painted the _sky, _Lucas…" Riley wavered, before continuing, "I've missed her so much."

Plate emptied, he averted his gaze across the table. Riley was slumping coyly and she'd already begun tearing away at a defenseless paper towel. "I'm glad that you had a great day, Riley. But what are you trying to say, exactly?"

* * *

**A/N: Did a final outline today, five remaining chapters for sure. I'm sorry you have to wait so long for the end, but I'm not one to rush to conclusions-I prefer to space things out naturally :)**

**-Lauren**


	15. Chapter 15: Breathing Room

Chapter Fifteen: Breathing Room

Riley pushed her plate forward, having zero appetite. It felt good to admit, as if a weight was lifted off. The past month had been entirely lonesome and each day added more and more pressure to the singular thought circling around in her head, so now voicing it aloud and letting it all out to this person she loved was one less burden to carry. "I can't do the part-time friend thing anymore, Lucas; I can't not have her as a cornerstone in my life. I love you, and I want to prove to you that you are my main priority—because you are. But, you're not my _only _priority."

"Wait, I don't understand," the boy scratched his head and set down his utensils. "I never told you not to talk to her or have her in your life, Riley. I just wanted you to realize that you and I came here to start _our _life together—and that in order to truly build one, you needed to trust _me _to be the person you could go to."

Picking up her plate, she walked to the trashcan and discarded the food that remained. She turned on the faucet and let the hot water beat down upon the glass as she sighed. "How can you be that person when you're never here? How can I go to you at any time when you're gone the entire day? I can't even call you because you're busy and can't answer your phone." Riley set the dish into the rack by her side and turned around to face Lucas. "Do you not see that I have nothing else here? My family, my friends, everything is in New York. I love you, I do, and I want to spend my life with you, but you can't give me every single thing that I need. You can't be the only person in my life, that's not fair."

Lucas looked at her enquiringly. "Not fair?" He was tired and frustrated. The long hours of the day had been wearing him down, constantly rushing from one place to the next in order to keep up with his job as well as his classes. It was relentless. "Riley, everything that I do, I do for us. You don't think that I'd much rather be home with you all day? You don't think I'd much rather be able to call you and just listen to your voice instead of having to listen to professors or my boss or any of the rude patients that come into the office? What's _not fair _is for you to fault me for trying my absolute best to build a future for us. I put in all this time, all of this work, just to look forward to the couple hours I get to come home and spend with _you._" Standing, he lifted his arms in defeat. "And here I was thinking that things had actually been going really well with us lately. Clearly I'm an idiot."

Nearing the boy, she grabbed his arms and lowered them down to his side. "Things _have _been going well." Riley met his gaze. "That's not what I'm trying to say…" Why was this so hard? Why couldn't she get her thoughts out exactly as she wanted without it always turning into an argument? "I'm just so lonely, Lucas. I'm all by myself ninety percent of the time, with nowhere to go. This is _your _home; this is where _you _grew up. You have family here, and old friends. I don't have that, so I like being able to talk to Maya whenever I need to in order to have some kind of connection—some familiarity. Why can't I just talk to her whenever you're gone, that way it doesn't interfere with your time either?"

"It's not about that," he shook his head. "It's the fact that she always comes first—she's always the one you can't live without. Riley, I love that you and Maya have an amazing friendship; I've always admired that. But when friends grow up and go out into the world, they move in separate directions to form their own families…it's _natural. _And I'm ready for that, I'm ready for that next step with you."

"But she's a huge part of my life, and I need her especially now more than ever. I don't want to give up something that I've relied on for almost twenty years."

Letting her finish, he then lingered, reconciling his mind. "Let me ask you…Do you need me?" his voice was timid.

The young woman cocked her head back at the question. "What? Of course I need you. That's why I'm here." She couldn't understand why bringing up Maya always made Lucas insecure. It was as if it was a competition, but one that she'd never signed up for. Why did growing up suddenly mean choosing between a best friend and a boyfriend? "How can you even ask me that?"

Taking a few steps back, Lucas looked at Riley and then plunged gaze to the floor. "You know, I made a move before too, leaving almost everything behind. I felt so lost, isolated, and out of place—in New York…but _you _made it feel like home," he smiled slightly, remembering how their friendship had grown—remembering the miracle of being on the right subway car at the right time. Of all the people he could have met in that enormously overcrowded city, the best one happened to fall right into his lap. "You made me feel that _any _place I could ever possibly be in would be home so long as you were there." Those deep brown eyes were staring directly into his; it was a view he could easily die happy with. Taking the girl's delicate hands within his grasp, he kissed them and then held them securely against his chest. "Do I not make you feel that way?"

Here she had found herself again, hurting this person she cared for with her entire heart, unintentionally. It was as though every single time she expressed a shred of grief, he bore the weight entirely on his shoulders, as if he wasn't enough for her. But it was never about him; Lucas had no shortcomings and did make her happy. Riley knew she was beyond lucky to be the one he'd chosen. She yearned for a way to keep everything and everyone close, exactly as it had been for as long as she could fathom, but it was becoming more and more clear that she was going to have to make a choice—she was going to have to either go all in or set him free to find someone that could. "I want to be here, Lucas. I want to be with you." Riley burrowed her face against his durable shoulder, with tears sodden into his shirt. She felt nauseous, as this was too much to comprehend for one night, but she knew that she adored the boy and that he deserved someone devoted to him.

Lucas rested his cheek upon the top of her head, and then altered to place his lips upon its precipice. He didn't want her to hurt, and didn't want her making any decision that she wasn't completely sure of. He knew without a doubt that he wanted to marry Riley, and would give anything at all to wake up next to her each day. But at the same time he had no desire to forever be wondering if she was really happy. And for some reason, they kept ending up at this point. He inhaled through his nose, taking in the sweet and intoxicating smell of her hair, and then let go. "Go back to New York, Riley. You need to figure out what you really want, and stop trying so hard to please me or anyone else. You've lived with me now for two months; you've seen what life is going to be like here while I'm in school. So now go back to New York, take a breather, and figure out where you'd honestly rather be."

"Lucas, what are you talking about?" Following him as he stepped outside to the porch, she was lost. "I just told you that I want to be here."

He leaned against the rail, looking out at the stars. There were so many, lighting up the sky in a way that no skyscraper ever could. This _was _his home. He didn't miss a single thing about the big city—not the big commotion, not all of the tourists, not all of the constant noise. It was peaceful here, four acres away from the rest of the world with Riley. He needed nothing else. But he knew she still wasn't sure—he knew that she was torn between the stars and the skyscrapers. A life shouldn't be something a person settles for, it should be something a person fights for…so he wanted her to be able to decide, and then if she wanted—to fight. "I know that you're what I want in my life, Riley. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. But I don't want you to be lonely; I don't want you to feel like you're losing more than you're gaining. I understand that everything happened really fast, and that you've had to alter your entire world to accommodate mine. I'm so thankful you took this leap with me, but I don't want there to ever be a day when you regret it, or wish you had your old life. So please, go back and see if _that's _where you truly want to be, or if it's here with me."

"No," her voice broke, wrapping herself around his back. "I'm not going to leave you."

Lucas stood firm, supported by the enamoring embrace. "I'm not going anywhere, babe. You know where I'll be—right here waiting for you, ready for you to be my wife. But I don't want to ask that question unless I know for certain that this is the future you deserve—the one you want. So take your time to go back and find out where _home _really is for you. No matter what you decide, I just want you happy."

She stayed completely still, in over her head. Two months—_two months _it had taken for her to ruin things with Lucas and to ruin things with Maya. Trying to hold on to both of them tightly, she'd somehow pushed them equally away. It didn't make sense, none of this made any freaking sense. Riley had reassured the boy time and time again that she wanted to be with him, wanted to confirm to that he was the most important person in her life. But still he questioned, and needed more validation. What would it take? Would it take going to New York, and then returning to Austin to prove that he was her one? She let go of the boy and sat down in the weathered rocking chair behind, baffled this was a conversation they were even having. "I don't need to go to know…but if that's what _you _need, then I will. I'll go, and then I'll come back and show you that this is where I'm going to stay."

Lucas gradually nodded, and then knelt down in front of her onto the wooden slats, grabbing the arms of the chair to halt its movements. He prayed she was right, but nevertheless admired the gorgeous young woman for a moment longer, just in case it was for the last time. This house had been one they'd bought together, remodeled together, and made their own. The idea of living in it without her seemed unimaginable. But he understood that unless she really enjoyed being there, it was no place to behold her any longer. "Just promise me that you'll follow your heart."

"I promise," she pledged to him, fully anticipating being back on that porch by the end of the weekend

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it's taken me longer than normal to update, I've been busy and my husband had been a little neglected by the extra surplus of time I've spent writing lately, lmao. Hoping to have this concluded by the end of the week though, fingers crossed. Only a few more chapters to go! **

**-Lauren**


	16. Chapter 16: Open Invitation

Chapter Sixteen: Open Invitation

Riley placed her wine glass down onto the tray table in front of her. The flight had been bumpy to say the least, riddled with turbulence, and she was already incredibly nervous as to what this trip would entail. On one hand it would be exciting to surprise Maya, however on the other, leaving Lucas behind to question her commitment seemed wrong and unsettling. She looked out of the small double-paned window, recognizing the thousands of lights beneath her. They were still as mesmerizing as she remembered, especially cast upon the dark of night, and it was just enough of a comforting sight to relieve anxieties a tad.

Being such a late flight, there weren't many passengers aboard, so luggage seemed to funnel out of the carousel quickly. Hers hadn't made its way down yet though, so Riley took the opportunity to call Lucas and let him know she had made it safely to New York. He wished the girl a fulfilling trip, and described his own plans for the weekend—studying for an exam, repairing a piece of broken fence, and then if he had time he would meet up with one of his cousins downtown for a few rounds of pool. It made Riley feel less guilty knowing that he would at least be occupied. Just as he was saying he loved her, a purple bag dropped and hastily she snagged it, reciprocated his sentiment, and then marched towards the JFK exit to hail a cab.

The elevator ride ascending the building lasted a lifetime within her thoughts…she kept kicking herself for not calling. She should have called, right? How was she to know if her friend would even be home, it was Friday night in New York City, the lively young woman could be anywhere. Riley still had a key to her former apartment, but it would be odd to just let herself inside of a place she no longer lived, wouldn't it? Her face flushed with the embarrassment of being unprepared as the bell dinged and doors opened to reveal that familiar yellow entrance. Thousands of times she had been here before and mindlessly twisted that knob, but this was the very first one where the girl was clueless of how to even approach it. She braved all insecurities, took a deep breath, and clutched onto the handle of her suitcase, rolling it forward. With three gentle knocks, Riley announced her arrival.

"Coming!" Maya echoed out through the barrier. She stood on her tippy-toes to reach the peephole, eyes widening immediately. "Riles?" Simultaneously, she clutched down and swung the door wide open, taking zero beats before throwing her arms around her best friend. "Are you really here right now? I can't believe it!" It was a hug that had been entirely too absent from her life lately, but one that fell into place as if no time had passed. Neither could say how long the hold lasted—fifteen seconds? Thirty? A minute? They were frozen in embrace, savoring it and making up for the numerous that they'd needed within the last two months.

"Gosh, I've missed that," the brunette said, finally separating herself. She held Maya's hands within her own, smiling at the view before her, a face that could instantly take away all worries and ensure her that everything would somehow be okay amongst the chaos. "Able to provide a gal a roof for the weekend?"

Without hesitation, the small blonde grabbed the handle of Riley's luggage and rolled it across the threshold. "Are you kidding me? Honey, I'd be _offended _if you stayed anywhere else!"

Following the other, Riley's tired long legs stomped boots atop the floor mat and then repositioned her body so that she could hang her coat on that well-known purple hook. Her nose was flooded with the aroma that she'd grown so accustomed to when living there, a rich French vanilla. Maya loved to burn candles, and vanilla was always her favorite. It was beyond soothing to be encompassed by that smell again. However, as she turned around to face the living room, her eyes latched onto an object that she _didn't _recognize—a person. Perched upon the couch was an entire person that had somehow gone unnoticed when she walked in. "Oh, hi," Riley said awkwardly to the girl, taken by surprise. "I'm so sorry, Maya, I didn't realize you had company over." _Definitely should have called, _she thought to herself.

"Don't be an idiot, Riles, I'm so glad you're here. And you don't need to apologize, we were just watching a movie." Maya faced the girl on the couch, waiting for her to assure that it was no interruption.

Rising from her seat, the young woman crossed the room and outstretched a hand to Riley. She was dressed slightly edgy, as Maya would dress, but tapered out with brighter colors. Her naturally black hair was pulled up into a deliberately messy bun, and Riley assumed based off of appearances that she was a fellow artist type like Maya.

"I'm Lexi," she flashed a warm grin, teeth perfectly white. "Maya has told me so much about you, and I recognized you instantly from some of her portraits. You're even prettier in person I must say, it's so nice to finally meet you."

"It's nice to meet you as well," Riley returned, though she was semi-perplexed as to how the woman had heard so much of her, whereas she'd heard nothing at all of this Lexi. "Really, I apologize for barging in, I can go stay at my parents' house, it's no problem at all."

Lexi let out a tiny laugh and shook her head. "No, please stay. It's getting late anyway, I need to get home and walk my dog. Small animals tend to pair with small bladders, so I know Theo has to be chomping at the bit by now. You two enjoy your time, I know you must have lots to catch up on." She smiled again at Riley with friendly green eyes, and then circled around to hug Maya, placing a light kiss on her cheek as she released. "I'll call you tomorrow?"

"That sounds good," Maya agreed, before insisting she text her when she made it back to her apartment.

What was going on? Was it just Riley's imagination, or was that exchange a little more than friendly? Whatever it was, it was uncomfortable, as she appeared to be the only person in the room that was out of the loop. Hearing the door shut amidst the girl's exit, the brunette cocked a baffled eyebrow at her best friend and raised arms in question. She was speechless. It was after midnight, her body was exhausted, and all of life around her had turned unrecognizable, both with Lucas and with Maya. Riley wanted nothing more than sleep at that point, and wanted it fast.

Seeing Riley's stunned expression, Maya bit the side of her lip, attempting to piece together her next words. This was obviously not how she'd planned on breaking the news. "So…I'm guessing we _both _have a lot to talk about?" her voice was apprehensive. "Care to join an old friend in our bay window?"

"Maya," the taller girl exhaled, running fingers through her hair. "I'm honestly just so tired. It's been a very long week, and I do want to talk to you about all of _this_," she motioned her finger towards the closed yellow door, "and about everything with Lucas. But can we do it tomorrow? I can barely form thoughts right now."

"Of course," Maya guaranteed. Though it was hard not to be disappointed. Riley had shown up on her doorstep after months of not seeing each other, and the first thing she wanted to do was go to bed. She understood she'd made a long trip and that it was late, but the sheer adrenaline of being reunited was enough to keep the artist awake for days. "Tomorrow bay window, then?"

"Tomorrow bay window, then." Riley promised with a wink. She didn't want Maya to second-guess whether or not she was enthralled to see her, but she was in no position for serious conversation. Sleep would clear her mind and give her new energy to take on whatever lied ahead, so it was important to not rush into it on dwindling fumes. Opening her reach, she let the other girl fall into her once more and secured her within her clutches. "I really have missed you, Maya. More than you know."

Once saying goodnight, the two girls walked down the tiny hallway and parted ways. Riley settled her things into her room, and pulled out a pair of silk pajamas, overly eager to remove anything from her body that the plane had touched. As she tucked down on the heavy comforter atop the bed, her eyes caught a glimpse of something striking in the corner of the room—resting on Maya's easel was her sunset. The curious girl dropped the blanket and lowered her weight onto the stool, admiring each detail captured by the paintbrush. It was exactly how she'd witnessed it, but somehow looked even more enchanting on canvas than it did in real life. Riley grazed her fingertips upon each groove, recalling every word that they'd shared to create them. She was taken away by how amazing it was to have such a person in her life that could really listen to every single thing she had said so acutely, and renovate those simple descriptions into a masterpiece. All exhaustion aside, she desired nothing more in that moment than to go tell the other girl how much she loved what she'd painted, and how it was exactly the thing she needed to see in the midst of the mayhem around her. But she knew she'd missed her chance, and that Maya was more than likely drifting into her dreams already—if there was one thing that would never change about Maya, it's that she was an expert at falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. So Riley took one last look, laid down, and said a silent prayer for clarity. Tomorrow would be a new day, and she'd have it all to spend with her friend—aside from all else, she was grateful for that.


	17. Chapter 17: Changing Tides

Chapter Seventeen: Changing Tides

"Riles, honey," Maya crept the girl's door open, letting in a slim ray of light from the main area of the apartment, "I know you got in pretty late last night, and how much you enjoy sleeping in even on a regular day, but it's almost eleven and I would like to spend at least _some _time with you before you have to leave…" Seeing no movement beneath the blanket, the blonde rolled her eyes at the stagnant log on the bed and flipped the light-switch up, pounding her fist twice solidly against the wall. "Gunshots!" she yelled out.

"Gunshots!" The clumsy woman instinctively rolled her body off the side of the bed, falling to the floor in a jumbled pile of fabric. Fighting a groggy fog, she looked up to find her best friend bent over in uncontrollable laughter. "Maya!" she proclaimed, tossing a rogue pillow at her.

The shorter girl dodged the incoming pillow and shrugged her shoulders, still laughing. "I'm sorry! My calm attempt didn't work!" Reaching out, she helped a wild-haired Riley to her feet and faked her best dramatic pouty face to beg for unspoken forgiveness.

Squinting her eyes at the pathetic display, Riley shook her head from side to side and crossed both arms over her chest. "Nope, that face isn't going to work on me this time. I've got to say, it's lost its magic, Maya Penelope Hart; going to take a lot more than that to make amends."

"Would breakfast work?"

"Breakfast?" Riley's eyes widened inquisitively. "I'm listening…"

Picking up the comforter, Maya threw it onto the abandoned bed. "Well _one _of us, and I'm not going to say which, but it's _not _the one of us that sleeps her entire life away, may have gotten up early to prepare a full spread…and perhaps if you'd march your long lazy legs into the kitchen, you'd find all of said food items awaiting your arrival."

With such a gesture it was impossible to even pretend to be mad. She granted immediate amnesty and after freshening up, the two reconvened in the kitchen to share a meal that was entirely too large for either to even remotely have enough room in their stomachs to finish. Cleaning up the mess, Riley scrubbed the dirtied dishes and then passed them off to Maya for the drying and putting away. It had been a four-year routine that pieced itself right back together as muscle memory. Already the morning was familiar and comfortable and made the weekend completely worth it. "I'm sorry for blowing you off last night…Maya, I'd never want to do that, it's just that-"

"You were tired," the older girl interrupted. "You don't need to apologize, Riles, I get it." She grabbed the used napkins from the table, tossing them into the trash. "I was just shocked to see you, so I didn't even think of it from your side."

"It wasn't just that I was tired…I mean I _was_, but more than that I was mentally drained…Confused." Riley wiped off the counter tops, making sure no spot was unclean. She was a guest in the place now, after all, and wanted to leave no bigger mess than was there before her stay. Polished with a shine, she approved of her job, and laid the damp rag across the sink divider. The brunette slowly closed the distance between her and the other, raising her chin. "Maya, why didn't you tell me? I feel like I'm becoming a stranger to your life."

Seeing tears on the verge of forming in those big brown eyes, she took a deep breath and then released it from her lungs. It was time—time to be honest, time to be vulnerable, and time to keep no secret from the person she had sworn she'd never have them with. "Bay window now?" she asked softly, gesturing towards the area behind.

Riley agreed, procuring her recognizable position next to Maya on the edge of their seat. Simply being back in that spot engulfed her in so many memories all at once. Sitting in a bay window beside her best friend was her entire childhood, her entire adolescence, and entire young-adulthood all intertwined within the cushions—_This_, more than every single other place she'd ever been, felt like _home…_and it was good to be home.

"I wasn't trying to keep anything from you," Maya broke the silence, nervous. "I wanted to tell you, many times I wanted to tell you…But I _couldn't_."

"Why couldn't you?" Riley set her tan hand on the other girl's shoulder to stop its feeble tremble. She didn't understand why the girl was having such trouble merely talking to her. It had never been a task for them to express what they'd been thinking, but for some reason this was different. "Peaches, you know that there's nothing you could ever do, or ever tell me that would make me love you less, right? I mean surely after so many years, you must know that?"

Aware that nothing would truly be the same after this, the older girl searched within for any ounce of courage. This talk was necessary, as it had been eating away at her since the day she first came face to face with her feelings, so to get everything out in the open would be a needed liberation…but how to start? How was she supposed to begin without letting the words pour out of her mouth like a waterfall and ruining everything? "R-Riley," she stammered, and then inhaled to focus more precisely on her speech. "Look, this is probably going to make you feel weird, okay, but I'm not going to be able to be honest about everything if you don't let me start from the beginning or if you keep interrupting. I'm nervous enough as it is-"

"Maya, it's _us_, you don't need to be nervous. I don't care who you love as long as you're happy." Removing her hold on the girl's shoulder, she twisted her body slightly to the right to face her friend more directly, with crossed legs upon the cushion.

Maya let out a small uncomfortable laugh at the irony of Riley's statement. _She doesn't care who I love_, she thought, _that's the problem. _Matching shape to her former roommate's position, she steadied, and then relaxed. Burying her feelings had grown wearisome…She was ready now, waterfall be damned. "When you moved to Austin, that was the worst time of my life, Riley. I didn't want to talk to anyone else, I didn't want to see anyone else, I didn't even want to paint a picture of anything else—Within the first two weeks apart, I must have started at least seven different portraits of you, but I could never finish them because I just kept getting so frustrated."

"Why were you frustrated?" the brunette asked.

"Look, you have to let me finish, okay? I really need to get this out in one try, or else I'll get all mixed up in my head." Receiving a supportive go-ahead, Maya continued. "But to answer your question, I was frustrated because no matter what color I used, or stroke I made, or image I saw in my head, none of them were good enough. They were just failed attempts of keeping you near me, which paled in comparison to having the real thing…" She was suddenly aware of how cold the room was. The hair on the nape of her neck was standing up amidst the chills coursing through her frame. Maya wished she had thought to bring a blanket to the window, both to keep her warm as well as to protect from anything threatening her now lowered guard. "You said you don't care who I love as long as I'm happy? Riley, _you _are the person I loved…It was you. The whole fucking time—you." There it was…it was out. All limbs went numb immediately.

Riley's heart was pounding in her chest—it felt heavier than normal. Observing her best friend slump forward and wipe the tears from her cheeks, she felt something crack within. There was no worse sight than to see Maya hurting, and her propensity for fixing what's broken was brimming the edge of her brain. However, as she opened her mouth to speak, a raised hand signaled to her that it was still not yet time.

"For a month my only wish was for you to come home—to show up on our doorstep saying that this was where you'd wanted to be all along and promising to never leave me again, that I was the one person in this huge overly-populated world you couldn't stand to be away from…Riles, you _know _that I don't pray anymore, but I prayed every damn night for _that_. Then one day, the _first _day since you'd moved that I'd actually agreed to go out and do something with someone…with Lexi…I was late for our phone call, and everything fell completely apart." Maya turned her head to look out of the window. It was so bright outside, gorgeous outside, but in the confines of that apartment everything seemed cloudy and gray. "That's when you said that you needed more space from me in order to make it work with Lucas. That's when I stopped praying for you to come back—I finally realized how stupid I was for holding onto that hope. I understood that it was time to let you go—for you to be happy and for me to learn how to be happy without you. After that, I started hanging out with her and putting my energy into letting someone new in...and it's been good for me."

"Maya…I had no idea…" she spoke up with a weak voice against the small blonde's wishes, taking a few moments to process. Teardrops were sinking from her chin onto her sweater, but she was paying them no mind. "Why didn't you just tell me?" Riley was searching Maya's face desperately for any kind of answer. "We've always told each other everything, I don't understand why you didn't come to me with this?"

A defeated grin tinged her lips, as she shrugged her shoulders. "Would it have even made a difference? You'd been with Lucas since high school; you two have planned your entire future together. Why would I ever want to interfere with that? How could I have ever tried to stop you from having everything you've ever wanted."

Noticing small goose bumps raised upon Maya's pale arms, Riley gradually rose from her seat and walked towards the couch. She grabbed the throw blanket that was draped across the back and returned to place it over the other girl's lap. The news was still soaking in, word by word, as this was a conversation she most certainly didn't anticipate having this weekend. However, all else aside she didn't want Maya cold. Still standing, the young woman was lost on any way to make this better. "I…I don't know what to say."

"Honey, it doesn't matter what you say." Thankful for the newfound cover, she tucked it under her feet and then took Riley's hand in her own, looking up to meet stares. "No matter what I would have said before you left, the fact is that I didn't. No matter what you would have done in response, it's pointless to even think about. Lucas was right, Riles, he was right; in order for us to grow and really give ourselves completely to someone else, we have to make room for them. You and I have always put each other first, our whole lives…but it's not fair to do that anymore whenever you are committing your life to him and when he's done nothing but put _you _first."

Riley found herself lowing to the floor, submitting against the prop of the window. Still holding Maya's hand, she tugged gently so that the other girl would follow to her level, blanket in tow. The young woman rested an overwhelmed head amongst the front of the seat cushion, and in each other's company, the two let a couple of quiet minutes pass. There was no need to rush, as this day was dedicated to them. "When did this all get so complicated?" she breathed.

Maya smiled, shaking her head. "I don't know, Matthews. I'm still trying to understand Pearl Harbor."

With a slight snicker, the brunette couldn't help but be amused by her friend. No matter how serious a conversation, the sarcastic girl never failed to crack a joke. "I thought about it too, you know?" Riley sighed.

"Pearl Harbor?"

"No," brown eyes rolled. "Us…I thought about us."

"Really?" Maya perked up, curious. "When?"

Placing a boney elbow on the seat behind her, Riley propped her head up and stretched legs out, ready to confront her own confessions. This day had already taken its toll, and it would be unfair to leave Maya with any doubts as to what her own feelings had been. "Do you remember in high school how everyone used to make comments that you and I were 'too close' or that something was going on between us because we were _always _together?"

"Yeah, I wanted to throw fists," the scrappy girl admitted defensively. "No one ever understood us."

"Maybe…" Riley contemplated, "or maybe they saw something that we were too close to see. Hearing them made me think of that art class where you'd created that abstract painting, the one that looked like chaos…but when you stepped back, it was right there, revealing the picture clearer than ever—the purple cat. So with each of their remarks, I questioned if you and I were like your purple cat…blending in with the surroundings, familiar in the company of chaos, but to everyone else who was more distant, something that made sense... I mean Maya, you were always the person I cared for the most, valued the most, wanted by my side from the day we met." Leaning her weight against the other girl, she exhaled. "I've always loved you, Peaches—more than anything. But when you crawled into my window, what I needed was a best friend. I was so young and just wanted a person to sit with…to talk to. Then as we got older, to the age where we finally understood the romantic relationship side of things, I met Lucas…you encouraged me to be with Lucas. _You _were the one that dropped me right into his lap. So I went with that, I trusted you to guide me to the right place, and I fell in love with him. Which in a strange way made me feel comforted, because I thought that at least if boyfriends come and go, best friends would last forever…and I never wanted to risk losing you—Now it feels like that's exactly the reason I am."

"You aren't going to lose me, Riles." Maya patted her hand on Riley's knee with reassurance. "We'll _always _be best friends… Except now we are best friends that let other people into our lives too. We are best friends that support each other's new journeys and understand that it's okay to allow one another to grow, even if that means not growing in the exact same direction." Lifting a fragile finger, she flashed her friendship ring to the other. "You're thunder and I'm lightening, right?"

"Forever." Riley corresponded softly, lifting her own ring up.

"You know what that means, honey? Thunder and lightening don't exist without each other—Farkle says that such a thing would be impossible," Maya smiled. "So don't ever think you could ever lose me. Such a thing…well it would be _impossible._"

The two girls clasped hands together, solidifying their alliance as they'd done countless times before. It was the only contract in existence with zero loopholes. Riley freed her grasp and returned her head to her palm. "Are you happy, Peaches?"

Caught off guard by the question, the older girl thought on her life and how it had changed so much in the last couple months—how Riley had moved, how she'd had her heart broken, and how she'd lost all hope for her return, forcing her to break out of her comfort zone and be open to meeting her own world. "I am, Riles…I'm happy... When you wanted to talk less, I was hurt and didn't understand; I felt like I'd lost the only person that really mattered. But Lexi was there for me, and helped me out of that dark place. It was _good _for me to let go, and to move forward. It was good for me to find hope in someone else for a change, and learn that other people can be pretty amazing too if you take the time to listen to them. It's not serious yet, I mean we are still getting to know one another—but she makes me laugh; she makes me feel important, and she has a huge heart for every single person she meets…and I really like her. So yes, honey, I'm happy."

Riley was calmed by her friend's words. She, more than anyone, had witnessed the many struggles Maya had overcome in her life, and happiness was a thing the girl overly deserved. However for herself, she was more puzzled than ever. Maya had sketched out a whole new life in the past month, forged beyond them being distant and less involved in each other's lives, and had somehow come out better for it. Whereas she, on the other hand, still missed Maya every day, felt completely lonely in Austin, and was now here in New York City solely because that had caused such a strain on her relationship with Lucas. He had sent her here to find answers, but it seemed to be filling her with even more questions.

In obvious silence, Maya cocked an eyebrow, wishing she could read minds. "Are you? Are _you _happy, Riley?"

* * *

**A/N: Soo...forgive me, haha. I know I said that there were only three more chapters left, but after writing this one, it turned out to be so long that I decided to break it up into two O_o**

** I apologize that this is all just dragging on for you guys, and you're ready for conclusion. Trust me, I am as well lol. But I have to just put out what comes naturally to me. Please stick around, not too much more to go. I have not changed my mind on the ending or anything of that nature, I know exactly what I want for that last chapter. It's just the meat in between that got a little more wordsy than I'd expected. **

**-Lauren**


	18. Chapter 18: History Repeats

Chapter Eighteen: History Repeats

Growing up, Riley had repeatedly heard her dad say that history was filled with missed opportunities—words people had left unsaid, choices people were too terrified to make, and causes no one cared enough to fight for. He had always encouraged her to be her own unique person and to follow her enormous heart wherever it led so that her own life would not repeat that of history and would not be the end result of a strain of missed opportunities. However, sitting on the floor of that apartment next to a person that she cared for so deeply but was now supposed to be growing in a separate direction from, Riley couldn't help but wonder what words she must have left unsaid, choices she must have not made correctly, or causes she'd never fought for. If there were to ever be a history book published about her own life, this is certainly not how she would have wanted it written.

"Riles," Maya broke the silence that had been enduring since she first asked the question. Using a sleeve, she dabbed away a tear that was breaking from the corner of Riley's eye. "Honey…are you _not _happy?"

Stressed and bewildered, Riley pressed two fingers hard into each of her temples. She wished it were something she could answer as easily as the other girl had, but for some reason it just wasn't. "I really don't know," she breathed. Shoving the blanket off, the brunette stood up and walked towards the fridge, leaving her apprehensive friend behind on the wooden floor. Seeing no alcohol inside the icebox, she closed the cold door and opened the cabinet above—it was where the two had previously stored their wine and liquor contents, but once again there was nothing inside. "Don't you have anything stronger than Diet Coke here, Maya?" It was frustrating, needing something so desperately to make her feel better, but ending up with nothing at all—a pattern it seemed her life had decided to adopt lately.

"Well, actually," the small girl folded the blanket and returned it to its usual location, "Lexi is sober…and it's still kind of fresh, so I don't keep anything here anymore…" Her tone was timid, worried of what her friend would think. Her girlfriend's past had been flooded with her own heartbreaks and turmoil, but she was making every step to heal and recover—it's one of the many reasons Maya had been drawn to her at first; the two shared a mutual goal in overcoming the destructive parts of themselves that worked to destroy the best parts.

"Oh…" Hearing this, it was becoming more and more obvious how much Maya really liked this girl; she was already adjusting her lifestyle around her after only a month of dating? Maya—a person as stubborn as the night is dark…someone that always wanted to do what _she _wanted, when _she _wanted to do it, was now altering her home for someone she barely knew? Part of Riley was irked. Part was jealous? No…Maya was happy, so she needed to be happy for her as well. This was a _good _thing, her best friend letting her guard down and putting effort into a real relationship. But it didn't feel _good. _If she were to be honest, it felt abysmal. It took hardly any time at all for this to not be her and Maya's place anymore, but instead Maya's with accents of this new person. How long would it be before Riley was no longer visible in the apartment at all? Would the bay window be _their _spot eventually? Austin didn't feel like home, and now she was starting to understand this was not home either. Riley couldn't keep doing this—bouncing from place to place, person to person, in search of some miraculous revelation. Everyone around her was where they belonged, living the life they were destined to live, but she was so lost in the universe, too far to even see the sun anymore. And god, did she need a drink.

Noticing Riley's shrunken demeanor, Maya discerned something was incredibly off. She barely recognized the girl she was looking at, as there was no trace of joy or light resonating from any inch of her lanky body—it was like looking at a carcass. The idea made her stomach churn. "Riles…" Stepping into the kitchen, the blonde adjusted Riley's long hair away from the girl's face, setting it to the sides of her shoulders, and inspected her hauntingly dimmed eyes. "Do you…maybe want to get out of here?" She asked softly, unsure of how to help.

Like glass crashing into cement, Riley broke. The weight was too heavy to carry alone any longer, as she was so depleted. Falling hard against Maya's small frame, she buried herself into the girl's shoulder, unleashing every single drop her ducts had been struggling to restrain, and every single emotion she'd held captive within. The desolate young woman wasn't just crying, she was sobbing, struggling to catch breath. "Please," Riley begged with a rising and falling chest, "please get me out of here."

"Hey…" Maya held on tight, rubbing the girl's back up and down, trying to calm her sporadic gasps. Her heart panged with each exhale she received amongst the top of her clavicle. "It's okay. I've got you," she repeated again and again waiting for Riley's body to relax. "Always, I've got you." Refusing to let go, her legs were firm in their stance and committed to support her best friend's burden in that spot for however long was necessary—even if it took all day…even if it took forever.

Eventually able to steady herself, Riley straightened and beheld Maya with an apologetic face, though she knew that the other wanted nothing of the sort. "Where can we even go?" she asked, voice still hoarse. Catching a glimpse of her appearance in the mirror behind, mascara was smudged across her cheeks, and clothes were disastrously unkempt. Her face was pale, with swollen eyes. It was probably the worst she'd ever looked and it was definitely no way to embrace the public in New York City. "I'm a mess."

"I know a place," Maya's mouth lifted in a consoling smile.

Grabbing keys, she walked to the front door and held it open as Riley stepped out. They descended in the elevator, Riley attempting to tidy up as best she could the entire ride down. After making a quick stop at a convenience store, the girls trekked down the sidewalk along the very short walk to a recently remodeled art studio.

…

"Wow, Maya," Riley gazed all around, soaking up the surroundings. It was stunning. Each wall was covered from top to bottom with various portraits the artist had created. Colors surged throughout the entire space. She'd never seen anything like it—so much energy and purpose was pouring out of each frame, a strong and resilient force destined to be noticed. The entire studio was just…Maya. It was perfect. "This is amazing."

Opening the wine bottle they'd bought from the store, Maya tipped it into a couple of plastic cups and then passed one off to Riley. "It's not done yet," she shrugged. "I can't figure out the lights. It was originally fluorescents in here, which was horrendous, so I put these new fixtures up with soft bulbs, but I don't know. It still just seems weird." Holding the cup forward, they gestured a cheers and then each took a sip.

"Well I don't know anything about lighting, and I'm completely ignorant when it comes to all of this stuff," Riley motioned around the room, "but I do know that personally my favorite place to look at your art was always outside. There was something about the way the sun hit each groove that brought the whole painting to life." Walking over to a couple of steps that separated the layers of the studio, she plopped down on the top one.

"Hmm…" the shorter girl racked her brain. "How could I get more sunlight in here? I have to display those paintings in the window to draw people inside. If I take those away, no one will ever step foot in this place." Maya took another sip lost in thought, and edged her feet backwards to sit next to Riley. "You know for a cheap bottle, this stuff isn't so bad."

Chuckling, the younger girl nodded. "I was just thinking the same thing! I mean headaches are guaranteed for tomorrow, but for ten dollars who even cares?"

"I feel like I'm back in freshman year of college." She was reminiscing about the many parties the pair had attended together throughout those university years—each one ending the same way—Riley was such a lightweight and would take on a buzz quickly, getting sleepy soon after 10PM. Maya, always the protective guardian, would take no hesitation in ushering the younger girl back to their apartment at the first sign of a yawn. Swirling the drink around, she eyed it mischievously. "Hey, Riles? Drinking game?"

Immediately excited by the idea of any game, Riley perked up. "Oh?" she questioned. "What kind of game?"

"How about instead of Truth or Dare, we just play Truths. We ask questions and if one of us doesn't want to answer, we have to take a sip?" Maya rose to retrieve the bottle so that they'd have it handy in the event of refills. Settling back in, she volunteered to go first. "So what do you really think about the studio? Do you honestly think I stand a chance? Rent is outrageous in this part of town, so I'd have to do fairly well on sales to stay afloat, and I guess lately I've just been worried that I won't be good enough."

_What a bizarre thing to even worry about, _Riley thought to herself. She couldn't comprehend how someone so talented could be so blind to her own potential. "Maya…how can you question that? You've done such an amazing job here, and you're the most creative and determined person in my life. You _are _going to succeed. It doesn't take a drinking game for me to tell you that." Tapping her knee against the other girl's leg to solidify her statement, she took a sip anyway, despite answering the question.

"Your turn."

Thinking for a couple seconds, Riley wondered how soon was too soon to ask what had really been on her heart this weekend. Generally in Truth or Dare, the game is played through a gradual build to the more audacious, but in this instance time was limited and she had come here for answers. "Do you think I made a mistake moving to Austin?"

Instinctively raising her glass to avoid the question, Maya could see Riley's disappointment by her response. Before tipping it against her lips, she reluctantly returned it to the step untouched and decided to brave this one. "No, Riles, I don't." As much as she'd like to say she was lying, she wasn't. Riley's journey had led her exactly to that place, and to do anything else would have surely left the girl with regret. "No matter what happened, or will happen, you had to at least try. No one learns anything without taking a risk, honey, you just have to follow where your heart leads and go from there."

"See everyone says that, but that's the thing," Riley was drinking more now, embracing the numbness that came along with the bitter taste. "Have I ever really followed my heart? Since I was a child I always just tried to do the right thing and to make everyone else happy, and now it's as though I blinked and have no idea where I am. This isn't _my _life, Maya."

"What do you mean this isn't your life?"

Riley, feeling warm, removed her cropped jacket and tossed it on the ledge next to the steps. Running fingers through her spiraled hair, she wavered. Twenty-two years seemed basically wasted if the future were to resemble anything like the present. "For as long as I can remember, I've followed the path that was expected of me, because I didn't want to let anyone down. I've prioritized everyone else's opinions over my own—because I wanted everyone I loved to be happy or to be heard. I mean gosh, even in Texas I was in a constant battle trying to do what I thought would make Lucas happy, or what would make you happy. When have I ever just made a choice to do what makes _me _happy? My entire life has been based on listening to someone else. You pushed me to be with Lucas, so I was. My mom told me that NYU was a wonderful school and that she loved it, so I went there. Lucas wanted to move to Austin, so I moved. He wanted me to rely on you less, so I tried that. When do I ever just make a decision for myself, Maya? When have I ever trusted _myself_? I mean I'm here in New York with you right now because he told me to come, even when I said I didn't want to, that I wanted to stay to work on our relationship, he told me to come so I came. How did I become this person that has no voice?" Riley closed her eyes, shaking her head, slightly dizzy. It was everything she'd been contemplating, but had been too afraid to speak aloud.

Maya, unsure of if this was a question she was supposed to answer, but knowing it was nothing she was nearly ready to tackle, emptied the red cup into her throat. The burn was barely noticed, as the situation was more uncomfortable than any drink could be. "Riley, I'm going to ask you again. I want an answer this time," she paused, turning the girl's face towards her own. "Are you happy?"

"No…No, I'm not happy." Peering out towards the top of the windows, Riley took notice of the tiny light that crept in through the top of the easels placed on the windowsill. The sun was begging to break inside, to rob the place of all darkness, but large obstacles were standing in the way, preventing any chance of this. Perhaps in trying to put up a front to please the rest of the world, you block out what would naturally shine in and ignite the magnificence inside. "I'm lonely…I miss my old life, I miss my family and I miss you. I love Lucas, and he loves me, but I can't even really be _me _if I'm there. I struggle to write in all of the quiet, I struggle to wake up and find meaning in an empty house while he's away all day, I struggle to think of building our own family there, away from my parents, and now I struggle to think of your life moving on in a way where I know nothing about it. This is just not what I wanted at all…"

It was sad—that's the only word Maya could use to describe it. It was sad that Riley, someone she would have guaranteed could thrive no matter where she was, was now sitting next to her in shambles. Riley was right, she had encouraged her to be with Lucas, encouraged her even to move with him, positive that the guy was her happily ever after. But somehow in letting her go, she'd let her get lost. This beneficent soul of a person who would do anything for anyone, had given too much and now had nothing left for herself. "I'm really sorry, Riles. I didn't know…" the appropriate words were hard to come by. She racked her brain trying to be of some use, until finally landing on something suitable. "Do you remember what I told you about your book when you called me? I told you that the best thing about writing it is that it's never to late to change your story; that you should put down what you were feeling at the time, and if later you want to rework it completely, you could. Nothing has been published here, honey, and there is nothing stopping you from changing your ending…maybe you just need a second draft?"

"How can I do that? How can I go and break his heart, after I made a promise to be the one holding it together?"

"Well," Maya took in a breath and then let it out. "Take it from someone that was in love with you…there's nothing more important to us than your happiness. Lucas sent you here to find your answers, Riley, he wants you happy too. It's time you start wanting that for yourself—demanding it for yourself. No one can read your mind, as much as I like to pretend that I can. So that voice you say you don't have anymore? Find it. Use it."

Taking in her best friend's advice, Riley laid her weight on the lap beside, comforted by a small hand resting upon her dangling arm. "My turn," she iterated. "Do you think that you and I would have ever worked, if things hadn't played out how they did? If one of us would have had enough courage to speak up before everything got so complicated?"

Stilled, Maya felt awkward. What was the point of asking this question? To torture her? Every day she wondered what she could have done differently to change the outcome. Every day she hated herself for not at least trying, for not throwing all fear of drowning away and jumping right into the ocean. But that wasn't the reality. They'd made their choices, stayed in the security of what they'd already known, and had let the chips fall where they must. Grabbing the bottle with a clank as it hit the ceramic step, she refilled, and then gulped down—not to avoid the question, but instead to buy a minute before answering. "You said it earlier, Riles. You needed a best friend, and so did I. I don't know if we would have worked out as more than that, but I don't have to. I wouldn't change _any _of the moments we've had if it meant risking having nothing at all."

Riley smiled, appreciative for the very long journey they'd been on together. Eight billion people in the world, and the universe had seen it fit to place her soul mate just a subway ride away. What were the odds? "I like that answer, Peaches. I'd never have wanted nothing at all with you either."

"Same question for you. Do you think it would have ever worked?" Maya inquired, nosily. She didn't know why she asked though, as whatever answer was to follow would certainly make what she'd been feeling even worse. If Riley said no, then it would just be cementing the obvious—that the love she held for the young woman was always meant to fail. However, if Riley said yes, it was just another token to place in the bank of her regrets for not acting when she should have.

With no intermission, Riley replied. "Definitely." Turning over, she looked up into those bolstering blue eyes. "I told you, you were always the person I needed the most, the one that I always wanted by my side—if there ever would have been a world where it was me and you…we would have ruled it."

Fighting a giant lump in her throat, Maya swallowed. She wanted more than anything to take the girl into an embrace, to kiss her, and to spend the rest of the night erasing everything in the past that had brought them to this point. There could have been a chance? Tears were threatening to break free. That fucking train ride, she just had to let go of that slender trusting hand and release the girl into the arms of another. She shouldn't have let go—she should have held on with every muscle she had in her body to keep Riley in her grasp forever. But she didn't. And now it was too late. Riley was fragmented, and needed more than anything to find her own way…meanwhile, Maya had been wrecked and was finally able to put the pieces back together, with no intention of ever allowing herself to be vulnerable to that same heartbreak again…Fucking missed opportunities. Trying to change the subject before any bad decision could be made, she attuned her position so that the other would sit up from her lap. "So…" it was hard to shake her tensions, "what are you going to do about Lucas?"

Riley, having an empty cup, took the bottle and tilted it directly into her mouth before passing it off to her friend. "I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago, Maya—I'm going to speak up."

* * *

**A/N: So now you see why I had to break this chapter and the previous one up into two, haha. It just grew into something much longer than I'd first anticipated. Almost certain though that there are only two chapters left for this conclusion. I will wait to post them until I can do them both at the same time, as I want there to be no gaps between those. Just want to say one last time before this is over how much I have appreciated all of your feedback and how grateful I am that anyone stuck through this until the end. It's been so fun for me to write, and hopefully one day I will see you guys on another story :) **

**Until then, "Dream. Try. Do good."**

**-Lauren**


	19. Chapter 19: A Final Stopping Place

Chapter Nineteen: A Final Stopping Place

Heels clacked through the automatic doors leading to passenger pickup. Outside it was hot and humid, the typical climate of Austin, and Riley could already feel her hair starting to frizz. After tying it up loosely, she removed the light jacket she had worn for the flight and stuffed it into her bag. It was noon on a Sunday so the airport was flooded with many return travellers, all of them eagerly awaiting their ride back home—all except for one. The young woman's stomach was riddled with insecurity and the Pepto she'd been chugging since waking up was no longer doing the trick. Vehicles were lined up all down the lane, but lifting to the tips of her toes she still could not spot Lucas's truck.

She checked her phone, noticing she'd forgotten to take it off airplane mode. Instantly it dinged with a myriad of alerts—one from Maya asking for guarantee of safe landing, many from Lucas updating her on his ETA, and a couple from her parent's questioning why she hadn't made time to see them during her trip to New York. Riley silenced it once she sent a brief reply to Maya, and relocated herself to a cement bench near the exit. If his latest ETA was accurate, she'd have about fifteen more minutes to kill, so she took the time to clear her mind and brainstorm how on earth she was supposed to initiate what would surely be the worst conversation she'd ever had with the boy. The whole thing was a mess, as their two lives were now completely intertwined together—it wasn't a teenage relationship that could be ended and resolved with no collateral damage; they were parts of each others' families, they'd moved two thousand miles and bought a house together, planned their future to be one they'd share. Riley was riddled with second thoughts as the gravity and consequences of the situation were sinking in and weighing her down. She needed comfort. She needed strength. She needed her dad.

Dialing his number, it was a perfect time for him to be available. By this hour in Greenwich Village, Cory would be finished with his lunch and taking a short rest before prepping his lesson plans for the upcoming week—the man was a creature of habit. It took only two rings for him to answer. "Dad? Do you have a second?"

"Of course, honey, always for you. Did you make it back okay?" the TV volume on the other line lowered quickly. "I had breakfast with Shawn and Maya this morning and she'd mentioned you went to see her this weekend. Couldn't make time for your old parents, ya traitor?"

He laughed, but Riley knew her father was disappointed to have missed a chance to see his daughter. Truthfully, it hadn't even occurred to her to go see them. The days had been so hectic and rushed that they'd flown by leaving no gaps for her attention drift onto anything outside of her sole purpose for being there. "I'm sorry," she paused, hoping that apology was good enough for now. "Dad?"

It was easy for the man to tell when something was bothering Riley. His oldest had always been the most expressive of his children, when she was happy her voice would echo with the bounce of a Disney song, light and joyous and melodic, his favorite sound in the world. But this was not that voice—this was the one that was dense and solemn, the one that would emerge whenever the girl's optimism would stray from it's usual place in her heart. Cory didn't hear this one often, but it was always painful when he did. "I'm here, Riley. What's going on?"

Clenching her eyes closed, she imagined herself sitting with the man in her former home. He'd be at the end of the kitchen table and she'd be on the bench seat to his left. That was where she'd gone to him for advice countless times as she'd grown from a child into a young woman, and it's where she wished she were in that moment. How easy things had been when she was younger, in the blanket of security her parents offered, dealing with issues far simpler than the ones being an adult presented. But having her father with her now, even through a phone call, made her brave. If there was one person in the world that would have faith in her, and trust her to follow where her heart led, even into the scary unknown, it was Cory Matthews—and sometimes all a person needs is that one person to let them know that everything will be okay. "I'm going to leave Lucas..." She lingered on the words. It was the first time she'd said it aloud, to herself or to anyone else. While it made her sad, it also made her feel liberated, as if just speaking the phrase and accepting it was the largest step she'd have to take and the rest could be one inch at a time. "I'm not happy here, and I don't think I ever will be…"

"How long have you felt like this?" he asked. He was surprised, as he'd assumed things were going well between the two. Phone calls had been far and few between since the girl had moved to Texas, but he'd equated that to Riley being busy and preoccupied with her new journey. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I've felt like this for a while…since we first got here basically. And I don't know, I guess I just didn't want to admit that I was failing. I kept trying to push through it, and to do the things I thought would make it better, but nothing is working. It's like the harder I try to fix it, the more it breaks me in return." She ran her fingers along the edge of the cement, letting the roughness vibrate against the tips of her nails. There was always something calming about keeping her hands busy when she was anxious—a way of keeping her body resolute when her mind was anything but.

"You haven't failed, dear, not even a little bit. There is no failure in trying. Do you remember when we went over Edison and the light bulb? You've just found a way that won't work, and that's okay. You just have to keep trying until you find one that will."

_Always a history lesson_, she grinned, soothed by the guy's consistency. Hearing a door close in the background, she knew her mom had probably just arrived. Sundays this time of year she was usually busy toting Auggie around to whatever sports practice he had. "Riley" was whispered over the line, and she could picture her mother nodding and then taking a spot next to her father for the rest of the call. They'd been together forever, but still remained side by side for anything life threw at them. "How do I get out of this? We bought a house together, everything is just so complicated. I invested almost all of my savings into this."

He took a few moments and then spoke up. "There's nothing that should prevent you from trying to find what makes you happy, Riley. It may be messy and complicated, but if it's what you truly need to do then don't be afraid or discouraged by the effort it may take. You may be broke for a little while when you two are working out the details, but it's better than being _broken_. So just breathe, and always know you aren't alone in any aspect of your life. Your mother and I are always here, whether it be for a place to stay until you get back on your feet, or just a hug to keep you warm, we are here. You're going to be just fine."

Riley relaxed and leaned her back into the support behind. "Hey?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, we love you. Let us know how it goes with Lucas, and then when you decide what comes next, we will be the first in line to see it."

After ensuring she loved them too, they said goodbyes and she slipped the phone back into her purse. She was so fortunate to have her parents, the rocks that her entire foundation was built upon. She yearned for their company again, the proximity, and if there was one thing the phone call had taught her, it was that she wasn't ready to live in a world without them—For if she were to have any chance of rediscovering her own voice, she'd need to surround herself with the ones that were always the best at listening to it, and amplifying it as if it were the most important one on the planet.

…

Lost in thought, Lucas almost went unnoticed as he retrieved her suitcase and tossed it into the bed of his truck. "Oh, hey," she chimed while he walked back towards her and took her slender body into his own, "Sorry, I didn't even see you." His smile was bright and warm, keeping no secret of how excited he was to have his girlfriend back. They'd only spent two days apart, however from his greeting the girl would have sworn she'd been gone an entire year. Guilt was knocking in her gut. Breaking free of his squeeze, she climbed up into her seat and shut the door.

"I missed you so damn much, babe." He lifted the top of her hand, pressing his lips against it. "You have no idea how relieved I am to have you home with me."

"I missed you too, Lucas," she said truthfully, remaining careful of word choice. "How was your weekend?"

He put the truck in drive and weaved out of the pickup lane. Keeping eyes on the road, his fingers blindly found the air conditioner knob and cranked it up to full blast. "Well my weekend was actually pretty good. Guess who came in to town for a couple days?"

Not in the mood for a guessing game, Riley relented straightaway. "I don't know, who?" She was feigning interest, but it was difficult to think of anything except for the verdict she'd returned to deliver.

"Zay!" Lucas's voice lifted. "He's on home-pass, so he came to see his family this weekend before going back to North Carolina. All day yesterday he hung with me at the house—we fixed the fence, put up those shutters you wanted on the front windows, and then stayed up way too late eating wings and trying to run through the original Halo campaign." He laughed, gratified to have had the rare time with his friend. "We didn't even make it halfway through, clearly old age has taken its toll on our Xbox skills." The sun was exceptionally bright, casting a large glare through the windshield. Pulling down an overhead compartment, he found his dark sunglasses and slipped them on. "Zay said to tell you hello, and that the next time he comes to town you owe him a batch of cookies."

_Next time_, the brunette lingered on the words. Good gosh, how long was this small talk supposed to last? Glancing down at the GPS on the screen, the arrival time was a dreadful forty-five minutes away—Forty-five minutes she'd have to sit with him pretending as though all was normal…pretending as though there would be a _next time? _"I'm glad you guys had a nice visit." Focusing out of the window, Riley hoped that if her attention was elsewhere he might allow the rest of the ride to be a silent one. Maybe she could just close her eyes and pretend to be asleep until pulling into their driveway, a last ditch effort to prolong the calm before the storm.

Oblivious to her hints, Lucas continued on with their dialogue. "What about you, did you have a good trip? ...Were you able to find the answers you were looking for?"

Picking up on his tone, she could sense his nerves—he didn't want to fill the void with small talk either, but he wasn't going to allow silence. Reassurance was what the young man wanted, for his girlfriend to tell him that she'd realized home was with him and that she'd never question it again. Perhaps if he knew where the road was leading, he'd have preferred the last moments of ignorance. "Yeah…" her voice was soft, realizing that stalling was a moot point. Whether it would take place now, or in forty-five minutes, the outcome would be the same. "I guess I did, Lucas."

Letting out a sigh, he was comforted. "That's great, babe. I have to say I was a little worried when I didn't hear from you at all yesterday—I thought maybe you finally realized you were too good for me and were avoiding calling to let me know." Lucas joked, locking their hands as he rested his elbow on the center console, and smiled. "I was so relieved when you asked me to come pick you back up today. I swear, I must have straightened up the house three times this morning because I wanted everything to be perfect for when you walk in that door."

This was getting worse…when had she said she decided to stay? Did she say it and not realize? Riley replayed the conversation in her head—no, she definitely hadn't said it. Was just her returning to Austin implication that her choice was to remain there? The boy couldn't seriously think that regardless of her decision, she wouldn't come back to talk about it with him in person, could he? "Lucas—"

"Just wait until you see the house, Riley, those shutters look so damn good. Dare I say, our work is done and we can finally just relax for the time being."

Why could he never read her? For seven years they had been together, but the boy was no closer to solving her puzzle than he was on the first day they had met. Were people just so inclined to hear what they wanted to hear that they'd completely ignore anything outside of their own indulgence? Her head pounded, hating herself for letting things get this far. Riley had come back determined to be heard—determined to build a new life solely on the pillars that would keep her own heart sturdy. But here she was in Lucas's truck, barely back on solid ground, and already she was getting caught up in a plan that wasn't hers. It clicked that this would never change—a person that continuously bends to the will of others eventually has to sacrifice their own backbone for flexibility…but how could she ever stand tall with no backbone? How could she ever meet her own world if she was too hunched over to look it directly in the eyes? While the uncertainty of change was scary, the idea of no change was even more terrifying. This was not the city she wanted to live in, this was not the story she wanted to write, and this was no longer the ride she wanted to be on. She thought of her dad's words, clinging to them for any hope to get through this. It was time to speak up. She'd already missed too many opportunities, and this was not going to be one of them. Riley looked over, wishing she could see through dark lenses to appreciate his charming blue eyes one last time before she'd forfeit all privilege to them. However, they were shielded and averted towards the road ahead, as he had no reason to look elsewhere. "Lucas, pull over…please just pull over."

"What's wrong? Do you feel sick?" He checked the side of his door and pulled out a small vial of Dramamine. "Here, take one of these, it'll help if you—"

"I'm not sick," The young woman was becoming irritated. "I want you to pull over. Anywhere, I don't care, I just need everything to stop."

Instantly worried, he complied and exited the interstate at the first prospect. There was an empty truck stop not too far down the road that would have to suffice. As soon as the vehicle stopped, his girlfriend was unclicking her seat belt, jumping outside, and hurrying away, forgetting to close the door behind her. "What is going on?" Lucas questioned, attempting to keep up with the girl's fast pace. Unanswered, he grabbed hold of Riley's arm to halt her footsteps. "Just talk to me, Riley. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, Lucas," she replied immediately, "Of course you didn't do anything wrong. You've been nothing but perfect for as long as I've known you." Riley's throat was weak, fighting against the emotions building inside. Guiding him to a wooden picnic table, they sat hand in hand. "You asked me if I found my answers while I was away, and I did. My answer is that I have no answer."

Confused, he removed his sunglasses and folded them up on the table. "What are you trying to tell me, Riley? Am I supposed to understand that?"

She exhaled, not even sure if she knew what she was saying. "It means that I have no idea what I want. For so long I've listened to everyone around me, and have followed the path wherever it led, but now it's like I'm standing in the middle of the woods with no clue where I am or how to get back home. I can't keep doing this, Lucas, I can't keep repeating the same pattern, expecting things to eventually just fall into place." Riley looked at him tearfully, "I don't know what I want, but I do know this isn't it—I can't live here."

"Oh…" it was all that was manageable as his cluttered mind tried to piece together what the conclusion to this conversation would be. He'd begun the day with optimism, encouraged by his girlfriend's homecoming, positive this was all they needed to get back on track. She'd gotten in his truck, said she missed him, and asked him about his weekend, as if all was normal and they'd moved past any bumps on the ride home where they belonged. "Wait, babe, I'm sorry—what does this mean exactly?"

"I can't believe I'm actually saying this," she whispered to herself or to him or to both. "This isn't where I'm supposed to be. I don't belong here, as much as I tried to convince myself and to convince you that I did, I just don't." She wrapped her arms around her knees, tucked up on the seat. "I'm so sorry, Lucas, more than I can ever express to you, I'm sorry. This isn't how I wanted things to go at all."

Lucas felt his chest tighten, and his face flushed. It was so hot outside, sun beating down with hardly any breeze, and a lack of trees in the vicinity prevented all chance of shade. He was wearing only a white t-shirt, however it felt as trapping as a knit sweater in the extreme heat, and the pressure of her words. If this wasn't how it felt to have the world end, it was surely close. He wiped the beads of sweat away from his forehead. "Do you want us to move back to New York?" he asked, running through all the ideas he could in desperation to save this. "I can see about transferring to a school over there, and we can go wherever you need to go. I don't want you to be miserable, Riley, I promised you a long time ago that I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel happy and safe, and I meant that."

"You can't do that though," she tucked a fallen strand of hair behind her ear. Her loose bun was on the verge of coming undone in the commotion. "This is where _you _want to be, and the place that you need to stay to succeed. New York is where I need to be, with my family and my friends, and my familiarity."

He knew it was true. Since he was a teenager, he'd had his future planned out, knowing exactly what he wanted to do with his life. Austin was always his goal; it was rooted deep in his veins and the only place he desired to live. It made sense for him to be there, to stay where he'd have a real shot of opening his own office and treating large animals. But the idea of losing the woman he loved for that made him want to throw up. "What if we did long distance? I know it would be hard, but we could make it work, Riley. We can do it."

Riley rubbed his back, and leaned her head against his solid shoulder. She too had thought of long distance as an option on her flight back, but every way it played out ended with the same result—he'd still want to be in Texas and she still wouldn't. There was no changing the inevitable. "Lucas, I love you. I have loved you for a very long time, and something that's always inspired me about you is that you have such a passion for your dream. You've worked your whole life towards attaining this one thing, and now it's finally falling into place for you. I still remember our talk when we were kids when your eyes lit up telling me about how you wanted to be a veterinarian and save horses. That is what you are meant to do—here, in your home, you are meant to do that." She sighed and watched as an 18-wheeler drove across the gravel in the lot. It was funny, the thought that this truck had been all over the world, crossing city to city, but never stayed in one place. The person inside merely stopping to rest before continuing on to the next destination—how exhausted they must be to never really be home. "Long distance would just be prolonging the same conversation we're having right now. I wish I could say that it would be different down the road, but if we are really honest with ourselves, it wouldn't. We want different things, and neither of us should have to compromise on something this important—not you, and not me. We deserve more than half a dream, Lucas. We deserve the whole thing."

Placing a tender kiss to the top of her head, he smelled her hair knowing it would be for one of the last times he'd have the chance. Her body fit perfectly against his side, and the idea of someone else ever taking that position was unfathomable. They'd grown together, forged as one. There was an impression of her that would be with him for the rest of his life. "What are you going to do?" He asked, calm. The wind finally blew a relief in the midst of the heat, and as much as his heart was broken, he wanted more than anything for Riley's to be whole again.

"Well," she straightened up, wiping her eyes with her forearm. "I'm going to figure that out. I don't know what my next steps are, but I'm only twenty-two. At some point in my life I decided I had to be grown and have all of the answers, with a clear path ahead. But my trip showed me that I really don't have any at all—I think I still have a lot to learn, and to discover about myself, and that's okay. So for now, I'll just listen to what my heart tells me until one day my heart won't just be a voice, it will be everything I'm basking in—it will be the sunlight shining light on my entire world."

The two remained quiet at the picnic table, neither quite ready to leave the moment. There was a stillness and peace around them, finally able to enjoy each other's presence without the burden of words or complications or attempts to resolve their problems. They simply sat in silence appreciating the long and meaningful journey they had been on together, taking in each second they'd have left before saying goodbye.

Riley breathed in the fresh air, no longer having trouble pushing it through her lungs—no longer overwhelmed by what lay ahead. She'd taken a step today, not away from something but towards something, a gesture that was enough to make her feel the slightest bit like herself again. There was no way to predict what life would look like in a week, or a month, or a year—as it would certainly be the start of undetermined chapters she'd never written similar to before, but they were ones she was hopeful to embark on and see through. Remembering her best friend's words, Riley was reinvigorated knowing that no matter where her story led, it was never too late to rework completely and change her own ending into one she'd be proud of.


	20. Chapter 20: Finishing the Story

Chapter Twenty: Finishing the Story

Flipping the final page over, Maya scratched her head and then went back to the last paragraph in the large stack of papers. "Wait…" she said, rereading. "So that's it? That's how it ends?"

"Yeah, that's how it ends—it ends with a new beginning." Riley stirred a scoop of sugar into her mug of coffee and then found her place next to the other girl on the couch. Taking a sip, she burned her tongue, never patient enough to wait for it to cool.

"But it just seems so sad, I mean after all that she just ends up having to start all over. Where's the happy ending?"

Riley laughed, shaking her head. She took the packet from Maya's hands and placed it onto the end table to her left, with the bolded title _Chasing the Sun_ facing upward. "Not all stories have happy endings, Peaches. This one was simply about hope—hope that it's never too late to change your future, no matter how far down a wrong path you may have gone. It's about having the courage to rewrite your own history."

"Hmm…" the young blonde contemplated, trying to understand. It was her first time reading through Riley's work, as she'd been very secretive about it for the last few months, and to say the content was surprising was an understatement. "Should I feel threatened by this? You don't have some unresolved feelings for Huckleberry do you?" She gave a mischievous glance to her girlfriend, having much insecurity about everything she'd just read. "I mean I can't help but notice you and Lucas were in love for like seven years in this thing, is there something you're trying to tell me here?"

Rolling her eyes dramatically, the anticipative author placed her hand on the other's thigh and squeezed. "It's _fiction_, Maya, it's not real. You and me, that's what's real." She leaned over and kissed the girl's cheek, to validate her sentiment. It was always humorous how quickly Maya would get jealous, even though she had no reason at all to ever doubt. Riley had known Maya was her entire heart for practically her whole life, and she'd been very aware that they were meant to be together ever since she'd been faced with the scare of moving to London all those years ago. It was the exact mirror she needed at the time to see her own self and to see who she needed beside her in the reflection. Saying goodbye to Lucas that day had been hard, as he was her first boyfriend and had been a vital support in her road to adolescence. But saying goodbye to her soul mate was impossible, and from that day forward she swore to make sure she never would have to.

The edgy girl remained silent, still thinking. She knew she was probably overanalyzing, but still the novel had to have come from somewhere in Riley's head, as all art comes from an underlying inspiration. If she were honest with herself, it still blew her mind at all that Riley had chosen to be with her. She was broken, and flawed, and had a difficult time seeing the world with the same spirit as the other young woman did. Every day she questioned why she was so lucky to have been gifted such a ray of light in her life. "Riles?"

"That's my name," Riley joked. "Feel free to wear it out."

Adjusting on the couch, Maya shifted her weight onto the side and turned to face Riley. She pulled up the blanket over her crossed legs and bit her lip apprehensively. "Do you think if Lucas's dad wouldn't have been transferred back to Texas junior year that things would have turned out differently? Do you think you and I would still be here right now?"

This was going deeper than she'd intended. Something in her book had stricken a nerve with Maya, as she could tell her voice had adopted a serious disposition. "Maya…" she held the girls hands, enclosing them tightly between her own. "…of course not. You and I were already together by that point, what makes you think I would have ever changed my mind?"

"I don't know," she looked down, appreciating their hold. "I guess part of me has just always wondered why it was me you wanted? Lucas was the perfect guy, always so kind and such a good person. I feel like that's the kind of person you deserved, you know?"

"Hey," Riley lifted Maya's chin with delicate fingers. "Don't do that, don't ever make yourself seem like less than." Looking into those icy blue eyes, they were beautiful, completely enchanting. They were the only ones she cared to see for the rest of her life. "You have been the most important person in my life since you first crawled into my window. You've stood up for me when I couldn't stand up for myself; You've pushed me to grow outside of my comfort zone, even when it was terrifying; you've let me rest every single one of my burdens on your shoulders, even on the days when you had been carrying your own. There is no one on this Earth that has loved me the way that you love me, or that could ever do a better job of it. It's always been you, it is you, and it will forever be you. From the day we met."

Releasing the other girl's chin, Riley reached forward and took another sip of her coffee—it was cooler now, and more comfortable sliding into her mouth. "Do you want to know why I wrote this story, Maya? Why I had the idea in the first place?"

"Yeah," Maya nodded, "Of course."

"I was sitting at the kitchen table, looking at a blank screen for hours—thoughtless, idealess, and frustrated. Then you came home; you threw your leather jacket on the hook, looked at me and just smiled, one of your genuinely natural and intoxicating smiles. Happy—you were happy to be home, and I was happy to be the one you were _coming home to_." Tugging slightly on the plush blanket, Riley moved it so that it would cover her long legs as well. She could feel Maya's cold feet beneath the cover and positioned her body closer to warm them. "I thought of how any other way of life would never feel as good as that. How no matter what choice I could have made in the past, what journey I would have taken, I would have never been as satisfied or as complete as I am with you, in this apartment, in this moment of our lives. So I started writing about it…I started writing about a missed opportunity—about where I'd be if life had taken a different turn. You read it for yourself; it didn't work out for me, Maya. Nothing would have worked out until I'd found my way back to you. Back to my home."

Letting out a deep breath, Maya's heart felt full. Her mind was at ease. Everything she'd ever wanted was next to her on a comfy couch, with no intentions of ever leaving. Since being a child she'd labeled herself as the person that gets left, but now it was finally time to wipe that label away from her forehead—Riley was here to stay. Forever. She held onto the girl's arm and guided her head down atop her lap. Running fingers through the long brown locks, she admired how soft they were, just as everything else was about Riley. "You're going to change the names, right? I mean as much as I love the idea of being famous, I'm thinking I'd prefer to remain anonymous in this one."

"Well yeah, I'm going to change the names." She nuzzled her head more comfortably into the resting place. Eyelids felt heavy, despite the coffee, as she'd exhausted all energy into writing lately, but Riley was determined to stay awake in the company of the girl she loved for as long as possible. "It's just the first draft, I used the names so that it would be easier for me to get into each person's perspective. But I'm definitely going to change names, and go back to add more backstories to develop the characters. I need to make sure the readers know them as well as I do."

"...And honey, you know I'd never be caught dead in a Smackle outfit, right?"

The girl let out a scoff, taken off guard by Maya's never ending sarcasm. "Not even for a Halloween costume?" she teased, poking her side.

"Not even if it was the last clean outfit on the planet," the shorter girl reiterated.

"Well there goes every single fantasy I've ever had," Riley cracked up, snuggling back in.

Enjoying the sound of the girl's adorable laugh, Maya leaned her body over and kissed Riley, deepening it until her brain kicked in again with more questions. She hesitated. "There's just one last thing I don't completely understand."

"What's that, Peaches?" The brunette let out a yawn, though she was disappointed to have their entanglement interrupted.

"Well everyone in your book is obviously based on people you know…except for one—why Lexi? Who is she?"

Riley looked up, meeting her girlfriend's glace. "I made her up," she winked. "In a world where you and I weren't together, I still wanted you happy. I wanted to know you were taken care of, and that no matter what happened to me, you'd have someone that loved you and was there for you."

Squinting her thick brows, Maya continued stroking her hair. "But why did you have to end up alone? If you created this person for me, why not just create someone for you as well?"

"Maya," Riley's voice was growing lower now, harder to fight slumber. Her body was relaxed and head was light. "Don't you get it? In any world where you and I aren't together, I'd rather just be alone. There is no one I could ever write that makes more sense for me than you," she whispered, fading out, and relinquishing to all fatigue.

Seeing the eyelids beneath her slowly close for the final time, she watched as Riley's chest would rise and fall. She had enjoyed reading the girl's story, and was incredibly proud of her for what she'd accomplished, however, she was entirely thankful that it was simply that—a story. Fiction. So easily it could have been real, she could have been living a totally different life, strung along by their missed opportunities. But for some reason the universe had taken care of them—brought them together by fate, allowed them to grow through friendship, and then solidified their bond through love. It was surreal, a one in a million chance that everything could have pieced itself together so perfectly. However, if life had taught her anything it was that hope was certainly not for suckers, and she'd luckily placed every ounce of her hope in Riley's hands a very long time ago. Careful not to disturb the sleeping young woman, she stretched her own body out and rested her head against the side of the couch, wrapping a single arm around her girlfriend, and focusing her eyes forward on their bay window until they could no longer remain open. She listened to each breath Riley took in and released being lulled, until finally her own matched the same rhythm—exactly as it had been their entire life, if one was to meet their dreams, the other was sure to follow—For when lightening struck the sky, thunder would never be far behind.

* * *

**A/N: That's it, guys! Hope you've enjoyed. I'm sorry if the ending wasn't what you were hoping for, but it's how I had envisioned it so I wanted to stick with it, despite whatever upset comments may follow *sweats nervously* haha. I also apologize that it took so long to update the final two chapters, but as I had mentioned, I wanted to do them in unison so that you could go right into the conclusion :) **

**I have enjoyed this little adventure with you guys, thank you for reading!**

**-Lauren**


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